Rito's New Troubles Vol 5
by Sallem Cortez 004
Summary: With Rito no longer holding any hesitations or reservations with a harem, Momo tries to make her move now. However, will Nana allow her sister's fiance this freedom, even if she's the only one really objecting to the idea? Also, what other problems are brewing just under the surface? What of the ending of the last volume? And what of other dangerous parties? Disaster awaits. 5/6.
1. Set-up to a Dirty Joke

Hey there everyone! It's been a while hasn't it? I'll bet you've all been looking forward to this, haven't you? Just a quick reminder, if you haven't read my series of To Love-Ru fics up to this point, you may want to do that now. Because I'll be blunt, Rito and his harem have developed a lot as a characters, and you probably won't believe this story without the necessary context. At any rate, I'm just gonna let you get on with reading Volume 5 of Rito's New Troubles. Enjoy!

* * *

**Sunday Morning after the end of Rito's New Troubles Volume 4 - Rito's Room - With Rito and Tearju**

"How did I get myself into this?" Mumbled Rito absently as he fiddled with something just off screen, reflecting on the events of last Thursday.

"We had an orgy," Blushed Tearju as Rito helped her adjust an anti-gravity bra Sallem had sent her when he finally saw the photos he said in his note he'd be taking. "But aside from that, I thought you were happy that things turned out this way?"

"I am happy," Rito reassured her gently. "And I'll always make sure that you are too, make no mistake of that. It's just that, ever since this whole harem thing got started, I've been drawing in women every month." As he said this, he wrapped his arms around Tearju's midsection and rested his head on her shoulder. "It's not that I don't love all of you, and I know you all love me, but I'm just worried about where this will all cap off."

"What do you mean by that?" Asked Tearju curiously.

"I'm just worried that I'll actually get 72 women like that terrorist wanted when he performed 9/11." Rito sighed as he casually groped Tearju. "Not only do I know that there's no way I could handle that many, but just the thought of giving a criminal exactly what they want rubs me the wrong way."

"You do remember that my daughter used to be an assassin?" Tearju asked with a mixture of happiness and sorrow, likely from the combination of Yami's old occupation, and the very vivid reconciliation they had three days ago.

"I could never forget that," Rito said nervously as he recalled all the various times Yami tried to kill him in the past. "But she's still young, she can still make amends for her mistakes. Not to mention..." He trailed off with a faint blush.

"Not to mention what?" Tearju asked cutely as she leaned towards Rito, already half knowing what he would say.

"Not to mention that I plan to marry her someday." Rito said sweetly as he pecked Tearju on the lips. "And you," Another peck, "And Lala," Peck, "And Ryouko," Peck, "And Yui," Peck, "And Haruna," Peck, "And make you all bear my children." Deep kiss.

When they parted to come up for air, Tearju chuckled. "I think I can live with that."

* * *

**Just Outside Rito's Room - With Momo**

_'Ohhh, Rito!'_ Squealed Momo inwardly as she spied on the couple making out. _'To think that this day has finally come. The day when the Harem Plan begins its full realization! Now I just need to figure out how to get in it myself.'_ She racked her brain in contemplation, trying to think of a good way to get Rito to reciprocate her feelings as well. Even though he was now open to the idea of a harem, the fact still stood that she didn't have the same 'experience' with Rito as all the others did. _'Oh, what I wouldn't do to have an experience like that with Rito.'_ She thought dreamily as she recalled the few details she'd managed to pry out of Lala.

"What do you think you're doing outside Rito's room?" Questioned Nana, who'd caught Momo fiddling with her own tail.

"Nothing! Nothing!" Panicked Mom in a hushed tone, trying to look as innocent as possible while diverting attention away from the door. "Say Nana, do you want to go play video games or something?"

"Maybe in a minute," Nana said suspiciously as she tried to move past her twin. "Right now I'm more interested in what you're spying on this time."

"Spying? You certainly have a vivid imagination there Nana." Momo waved nervously as she tried to bar entrance to Rito's room.

"It's not my imagination if it's right," Insisted Nana as she entered a power struggle with Momo. However, while they were evenly matched in terms of strength, Momo was still suffering a slight fatigue from pleasuring her tail, so Nana managed to overpower her sister and open the door. When she saw Rito and Tearju passionately making out on his bed in nothing but their underwear, she became unhinged.

"RITO YUUKI!" Exploded Nana as she stormed over the boy, snapping him and Tearju out of their make out session. "How many times do I have to remind you that you're Lala onee-sama's fiance before you get it through your perverted head!-?" She demanded as she tried to grab Rito in a headlock, only for him to consistently manage to swerve out of the way.

As Nana continued her attempt at assault, the gears of Momo's mind were turning in concern for her plan. _'This isn't good,'_ She thought. _'I forgot that there are more obstacles to the Harem Plan than just Rito's own resistance. Nana's also set in her ways, and she thinks too highly of Lala to allow Rito to become a carnivore. No matter how I try to get around it, Nana's just as big of an obstacle to the Harem Plan as Rito used to be. As much as I hate to admit my own lack of skill in this department, I'm not as good at this as Sallem is. At least he could force his way through obstacles until there were none left to be found. Even after he left, the Cola he left behind for Celine to find was instrumental to adding Tearju and awakening Rito's inner desires. He probably didn't plan for exactly that to happen, but the fact that he can take a gamble like that so casually is just proof of my own inexperience. I wish there was some kind of school for learning these things.'_

Suddenly, Momo was struck with a turn of inspiration. It was a risky and desperate gamble, to be sure. However, if she played this just right, then she could add herself to the harem, and prevent Nana from becoming an obstacle to the Harem Plan ever again. As she brought her attention back to Rito, she could see that Nana was starting to exhaust herself trying to punish Rito, while he was barely winded from evading. A wicked smile came to her face as she realized that her plan might be even easier than she thought.

"How are you doing this?-!" Demanded Nana in exasperation. "When did you get so good at dodging?"

"Well, I did play a lot of soccer during middle school," Rito explained, half guessing the answer himself. "I guess that between that and all the panicking and running I've done ever since Lala came to Earth, I've gotten pretty good at getting away from these things unharmed." Smiling, he pat Nana on the head playfully. "All that aside though, there are answers to your problems aside from just trying to hit them all the time."

Blushing at the indignity and embarrassment of Rito's actions, Nana swatted away his hand and scoffed. "Say whatever you want! But just remember who your fiance is!" Taking one last attempt to smack Rito, and failing that miserably, she stormed off in a huff.

Once she was gone, Tearju turned to Rito curiously. "Hey Rito, I've been meaning to ask this for a while, but why is Nana so insistent on you marrying just Lala?" She asked as Rito returned to her side on their bed, which they continued to share at night because they had both grown so accustomed to living together that she had moved in on a permanent basis. "Lala herself is perfectly okay with the arrangements we've all planned out, and I know that polygamy is allowed for at least high-class members of Deviluke society."

"It's just her personal preferences I guess," Shrugged Rito as he wrapped his arms around Tearju again. "I should know, I used to have the same kind of mindset after all. Now where were we?"

"We had just gotten my bra on, and we were making out." Tearju supplied as she batted her eyes at him.

"What would you say if I said that I think you look better with it off?" Rito questioned teasingly as he started kissing her neck.

"I'd say we should take off my panties too and make it a matching set." Tearju replied seductively.

"Just let me get the door then," Rito said as he got up and closed the door before returning to Tearju.

Meanwhile, just outside the room, Momo debated between putting her plan into action immediately, or staying around for a bit to take notes based on the noise. After a few brief moments, she decided that the long-term investment was more important right now than was satisfying herself with just muffled noises. So with a sigh of disappointment, she went off to find Nana.

* * *

**Monday Morning - School - With Rito, Lala, and Yami**

"It's soooo good to be back in school!" Cheered Lala happily, her left arm intertwined with Rito's right.

"I've missed it as well," Seconded Yami as she turned a page in her math book held in her left hand, her right arm wrapped around Rito's left. "While it's not as nice as being rained in at Ryouko's house on Thursday, or rained in at your house on Friday, I've wanted to get access to the library again."

"It's nice to see you two being so interested in education," Rito sweatdropped as he felt the unified glares of dozens of envious males bore into him from all angles. "However, it might be nice if you paid a bit more attention to the atmosphere as well."

"What do you mean by that?" Asked Lala.

"He means this," Yami answered as he hair turned into a pair of hands, a fist pounding a few times onto an open hand, sending out a very clear message that quickly sent many of the lurkers on their merry way in fear. Some of the more bold and desperate ones still hung around, but even they fell back a bit. "It's amazing how much like wild animals they are." Yami noted casually.

"After what happened on Thursday, I'm afraid that I might qualify under your definition of wild animal too." Rito said in good spirits.

"You're not a wild animal, Rito," Denied Lala as she nestled her head on his shoulder. "You're more like a lovable puppy."

"Thank you for reminding me of the day you actually made me a dog," Rito joked, though he was clearly being heavily sarcastic. "What would I do without you, Lala?"

"He's not a dog," Yami insisted as she nuzzled Rito. "He's a proud and strong alpha wolf."

"Did you just compare him to Sallem?" Yui asked her as she latched onto Rito from behind. "Because I have to disagree. Rito's much better than some mangy wild mutt. If anything, he's a proud and strong lion."

"When did you get here, Yui?" Asked Rito in surprise.

"I've been listening for a while." Yui answered as she nuzzled her face against his. "Cats are very light on their feet after all."

Meanwhile, at the sight of three hot girls being so affectionate with the same guy, the tempers of the envious boys reach such a high point that it overrode a great deal of their commonsense. Enough so as to drive two of them, one of them being Saruyama, into such a frenzy that they threw all caution into the wind and lunged. Before either of them could reach their mark however, a large flower caught Saruyama, while an oversized bull charged at the other boy.

"IT REEKS!" Shouted Saruyama in agony as he struggled to escape the clutches of the fowl smelling flower.

"What just happened?" Asked Yui in shock and confusion.

"I think I've seen this theme somewhere before," Rito said awkwardly as he scanned the area, quickly catching sight of Nana and Momo up half a flight of nearby stairs. To Rito's surprise, they were both dressed in the uniforms of his school. The fact that he could see their panties from the angle he saw them brought a small blush to his face.

"Nana! Momo! What are you two doing here?" Asked Lala excitedly as she let go of Rito and rushed off to her sisters.

"Isn't it obvious by the uniforms?" Momo asked playfully as Lala wrapped them both in a hug.

"We've decided to enroll in school here too." Nana explained, glad to see her sister in an especially happy mood.

"That's great," Rito said as he walked up the stairs with Yui and Yami. "Though I hope that you didn't enroll in our class." He added awkwardly.

Momo shook her head, "We're going to be in the grade below you," She told them. "I wish I could be in your class though." She teased.

"How did you get enrolled here anyway?" Asked Yui suspiciously.

"We just asked The Principal and he said he'd handle the details." Nana told her simply.

"That seems to be the standard procedure at this school," Rito said, his external calm betraying his inner disappointment in the education system. "But why did the two of you enroll anyway?"

"Our father is making us study anyway, so we thought we'd do it like the locals do." Momo lied easily, her true intentions being somewhat more apparent to Yami.

"I'm just here to make sure you remember your place," Nana glared at Rito. "Every time I turn my back for even a second you're cheating on Lala onee-sama. Well you've had your fun, so now you need to get your priorities straightened out. Here," She scolded as she yanked him away from Yui and Yami and handed him off the Lala. Now with a collar around his neck. "If you don't keep an eye on him he might wander off again. That's why I ordered this collar."

"Dare I ask what it does?" Rito ventured as he fiddled with the collar, nervously taking note of the many lights and studs on its smooth metal surface.

"It's very simple," Nana said smugly as she pulled out her cell phone. "The collar monitors your actions and words, so if you decide to get chummy with any girls besides Lala, I can just do this," She pressed a button on her phone, and she was suddenly electrocuted. "What... just... happened?" She asked, smoke trailing from her cindered body as she fell to the ground.

"I hacked the collar with my powers," Yami said as her hand shifted back from a cord. "I didn't like it." She told her bluntly as she climbed on Rito's back.

Watching on as Nana yelled at Yami for screwing things up, Momo sighed. _'A situation like this is exactly why I didn't enroll us directly in Rito's class,'_ She thought. _'While it might have helped add myself and maybe even Nana to the harem faster, it's just too risky to allow Nana in the same room as Rito for an extended period of time. It's better if I do this in smaller doses.'_ Taking notice of how Rito was calmly resolving the situation, her thoughts continued. _'Lunch period would be the best time for a daily interaction between the three of us, since the whole harem would be there to act as a buffer. With Rito already a carnivore, the job's already halfway done. Now I just need to awaken Nana's feelings for him, and the Harem Plan will be secure.'_

"Why is it that her expression is making me feel so worried for the future?" Yui whispered to herself as she noticed Momo's lecherous face.

* * *

**Nana and Momo's classroom - Shortly after introductions**

"Who is she trying to fool?" Nana glared at her sister, who had become almost instantly popular with others, especially the boys. While a few boys had paid attention to her, she quickly beat them away the moment they revealed themselves as Lolicons. If she was ever looking for a boyfriend, which she wasn't, she'd go for a guy who didn't care at all about proportions, instead of one who actively went for flat girls. "She may act all goody-goody around others, but she's more of a beast than anything I've made friends with."

"Excuse me," Came a female voice from behind Nana. "But is this seat taken?"

"Does it look like it-?" Nana began bitterly, but instantly stopped short when she saw who was addressing her. She had blood red hair cropped around neck level, but that was all that was even slightly normal about her appearance. She had no right leg from the knee down, instead possessing a peg leg, her left arm was completely gone, and she wore an eyepatch over a likely missing right eye.

"Sorry, I'll just go look somewhere else then," The red-head amputee hobbled away steadily.

"Wait! Hold on a second!" Nana hurried off after her. "I'm sorry about being so rude, it's just that my sister's acting is getting on my nerves so much that I was a bit on edge."

"Acting?" Wondered the amputee as she glanced over at Momo talking animatedly with her classmates. "She seems pretty genuine to me."

"Like I said, it's all an act!" Nana hissed to her. "She tries to look like little miss perfect for others, but deep down she's actually a perverted maniac with a bigger sex drive than any one of my pets when they're in heat!"

"You have pets?" Asked the red-head curiously. "Do you think I could meet them sometime?"

"Of course," Agreed Nana happily. "It may surprise you to hear this, but I have more pets than I can count sometimes." She boasted proudly.

"How do you deal with having so many animals?" Asked the girl.

"I have a huge garden for them to roam around in," Nana explained as she extender her right arm. "My name's Nana by the way, what's yours?"

"My name is Mea Kurosaki." Mea answered as she shook Nana's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise," Said Nana. "Hey... if you don't mind my asking, how did you, umm..." She trailed off nervously, not sure how to broach the obvious question. Mea caught on though, evidenced by how she clutched her left side tightly.

"It's not a story I like talking about very much," Mea hesitated. "But let's just say that a demon's responsible for what happened to me."

"Oh..." Gulped Nana sadly. "I'm sorry if I brought up anything unpleasant."

"Don't worry about it," Mea brushed aside her worries. "I'm living with some nice people now, so I guess my life isn't all bad since that day."

Nana wanted to ask what she meant when she said she was with nice people now, wondering who she was living with before. But she was too uncomfortable with asking about it, afraid she might dredge up something else she didn't want people to know.

"It's alright," Mea said suddenly, having guessed what she was thinking. "I wasn't really living with anyone before that happened. It was just me and a relative who sent me money every so often. I'm actually pretty content with how things turned out."

"If you say so," Nana relented quietly as they both took their seats for class. "Anyway, I'm glad that I could make a friend here so soon. We are friends, right?" She asked uncertainly.

Mea stared blankly at Nana for several seconds, as if wondering what the right response to that question could be. Just as Nana was beginning to feel nervous about having suggested the idea, Mea smiled lightly and replied. "I'd like that."

As class started and everyone turned their attention to the front of the room, the million-watt smile Nana had on could light up a room.

* * *

**Lunch Period - Rooftop**

"Remind me again why I can't put a stop to this right now?" Nana growled bitterly before tearing at her lunch like a wild animal.

"Do you wanna be the one to stand up to them and tell them no?" Momo asked snidely as she slowly inched ever closer to Rito.

"I really don't think you should try, Nana," Recommended her new friend Mea. "They look pretty dangerous."

"He's just a perverted, wild beast." Glared Nana. "What does Lala onee-sama see in him?"

"You do know that we can hear every word you're saying, right?" Asked Rito sarcastically from his seat in Ryouko's lap.

"Don't mind her, Rito," Ryouko reassured him as she spoon fed some soup to Celine, who she was looking after during school days now, since no one else was at the Yuuki household to watch her. Since she wanted to keep her hands free, she'd just placed Celine in the warm valley between her large breasts. "She'll come around and join us soon enough. Isn't that right, Yui?" She said as she scratched behind Yui's ears.

"What makes you so certain she wants to join," Yui said from her seat on Rito's lap. "She doesn't seem very interested."

"I know she will." Yami said from her seat on her mother's lap as she fed her. "I could tell by the way she reacted when Rito confessed at the pool a few months ago."

"I keep telling you all, that much was just an accident," Rito sighed as he fed Tearju, who was sitting next to Ryouko and Lala.

"You do know that WE can hear every word YOU'RE saying, right?!" Nana shouted at them, somewhat appreciating the irony.

"Your sister's fiance looks pretty intense," Mea observed, though her attention was secretly more focused on Yami and Tearju than anything else. "Why is your sister with him?"

"He's tricking her somehow," Nana hissed. "I just know it."

"I was actually talking about your other sister," Mea amended as she pointed to Momo, who had managed to slip up beside Rito while everyone else was distracted. To say Nana was surprised at the sight was an understatement.

"What does she think she's doing?" Nana scowled as she marched over the her.

"What do you think you're doing?" Rito asked Momo as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Well, I was thinking that since you already have a harem, do you think that... Oh! I just can't say it~!" Momo gushed, her cheeks red from excitement.

"You're damn right you can't!" Declared Nana as she yanked her sister away from Rito by the collar of her shirt. "What is wrong with everyone?! I don't see what's so special about Rito, so why is he getting all this attention!"

"That's what I'd like to know as well." Mea remarked as she kept her one remaining eye focused between Rito and Yami, giving her a decent view of both of them.

"Why don't you all just find out then?" Asked Lala enthusiastically, who was seated between Ryouko and Tearju this whole time. "Rito, Yami, and I are going on a group date on Sunday to the zoo. Why don't we have Nana and Momo come with us?"

"O-Onee-sama..." Gaped Nana, who was still unable to grasp that Lala actually preferred the idea of polygamy when it came to Rito.

"What a wonderful idea." Sighed Momo in barely concealed euphoria, glad that Lala had just extended a perfect invitation to a place Nana couldn't resist if she tried. Especially considering it came from her much adored sister.

"Do you think I could come too?" Asked Mea suddenly, coming off as a bit too eager, but for reasons other than what one might expect at a glance.

"Mea, you can't be serious..." Gaped Nana, then she suddenly grabbed her by the shoulders with a sense of urgency. "Listen Mea, I'm telling you this right now for your own good. You want to stay away from Rito. He can suck girls up into his clutches before they know what's happening and have his way with them! He's a perverted beast among beasts!"

"We can still hear every word you're saying." Scolded Yui sternly.

"Well..." Hesitated Mea as she hurriedly thought up an excuse for wanting to go with them. While Sallem and his demon friend had forced her into a more docile state and damaged her specifically so that she couldn't use her powers to regenerate, she was still loyal to her master. If she was to convince Yami to kill Rito and come back to the darkness with her, she couldn't let her true intentions be known. "Isn't it natural for boys to have urges like that?" She lied smoothly, trying to cover it up with embarrassment.

"Not you too," Twitched Nana bitterly.

_'Could she be a candidate too?' _Wondered Momo curiously. _'We've just met her, but it seems like she's already taken an interest in Rito.'_ She mused suspiciously.

"I think I see what's going on here," Tearju smiled as she brushed Yami's head. "You're trying to make friends, but you're not sure how. Your expression is so awkward that I can tell at a glance. You're just like my daughter, Yami."

"I don't want to hear anything from you." Mea glared coldly at Tearju for daring to treat her sister like some normal little girl, or at least she tried before her gaze was inevitably drawn to her attention grabbing breasts and hips, a blush forming on her face as she did so from the indignity of being so easily distracted. Someone else however, took her reaction a different way.

_'What was with that reaction?'_ Wondered Momo. _'At that moment, she seemed almost jealous of Tearju. While any girl would want at least a fraction of her figure, there seemed to be more to it than that. That blush... could it be...? She's been secretly admiring Rito for a while?'_ Momo had to admit that her brain had made a bizarre jump in logic, but what if that was the case? Based on the Dating Sims she's played to prepare for the Harem Plan, it's very common for a kouhai to have a crush on one of their sempai at least once in their lives. Given that Rito has an unnatural talent for attracting women because of the ghost haunting him, it would only be natural for him to attract the attention of at least a few kouhai. After all, Momo herself was Rito's kouhai now, and she definitely had a crush on him.

"I think it's a great idea," Grinned Lala. "We haven't really done anything as sisters in a while, so all of us spending the day together would be a fun way to catch up, not to mention it'd be a good chance to get to know your new friend more."

"I guess so," Mumbled Nana, her feelings about the situation greatly conflicted. While she still saw Rito as Lala's fiance only, she did want to spend time with her new friend, and she couldn't resist the temptation of meeting a lot of new and exotic Earth animals. "But only to make certain that he doesn't try anything while you're out." She pointed at Rito accusingly.

"Will you just let that go?" Rito, Ryouko, Yami, Yui, Tearju, and Momo asked together in exasperation.

* * *

**Friday Morning - School - With Rito**

Today was just as any other day for Rito. He goes to school with Lala and her sisters, they all set their stuff in their lockers, and they go about their own stuff for a bit before class. It was a bit different today because Lala had to drop Celine off with Ryouko, and also wanted to talk with her about something. Momo had suddenly excused herself to take care of something she didn't specify, but so long as it didn't affect him directly, he didn't really care too much. Nana meanwhile, had gone off to find Mea once Momo had left, saying she felt fine with leaving him alone since she wasn't here anymore. As he sat outside on a bench, he took this rare bit of quiet time to entertain himself with just his thoughts.

"What is with her anyway?" Rito sighed as he casually took out his wallet. "I get that she wants Lala to be happy, but she's going about it all wrong." As he said this, his eyes scrolled down a long roll of hologram, full-body photo inserts Sallem had installed into his wallet, each one containing a different girl in his harem. Lala, Ryouko, Yami, Yui, and Tearju were all accounted for, but for Ryouko, Yui, and Tearju, their photos were from after they were each mutated or altered in some way. "I wonder what's next with this stuff. Will Run become a centaur? Will Mikan become a dragon or something? Will Yami become an Asura? With the way things have been, I just don't know anymore."

"You might not be far off in your guesses, Rito." Said Sallem as his image appeared on a new slot in the hologram inserts, scaring Rito right out of his seat.

"What are you doing in there?!" Panicked Rito as he glared at Sallem's image, memories of the torment he went through because of him still fresh in his mind.

Sallem just shook his head in amusement from his screen. "This thing isn't just an insert for your wallet, dude. It doubles as a video phone for interstellar communication."

"I didn't ask how you got in there," Said Rito bitterly. "Knowing you, I already kinda guessed that this thing had some kind of extra function you wouldn't tell me about until you felt like it. What I want to know is why you're contacting me."

"Well, I actually have good news, bad news, worse news, and horrible news," Smirked Sallem in barely concealed excitement, which Rito knew meant the bad things were only for him. "The bad news is that someone lost a few mutagens onto the planet in an 'accident' a few weeks ago, and nobody seems all that concerned to collect it."

Rito noticed with disdain that Sallem had said the word accident with air quotes, cluing him into the fact that it almost certainly wasn't the real story. "What about the worse news?"

"The worse news is that it's all landed in Japan," Sallem chuckled happily, not at all concerned by this turn of events. "And given that the 9/11 Ghost haunting you is currently throwing a bit of a tantrum with what's left of its power, you can likely expect all of those mutagens to impact the girls around you in some way."

"So more of my harem is going to turn into freaks." Rito summarized bluntly.

"In a nutshell, yes." Sallem confirmed somberly. "The horrible news is that I have no idea what the mutagens that were lost in this area do. Seems that the people responsible for losing the cargo weren't exactly told much. Either that, or they're just trying to pass the buck for illegal dumping on a developing planet. Things like this happen so often that even the Galaxy Police don't put much time, effort, or money into investigating these things anymore. It's gotten to the point where telling insurance companies to send out the check for the damages and losses is pretty much routine these days."

"Is there really any good news in all of this?" Rito asked, but just as Sallem was about to answer he added, "And I don't mean good news that's just for you." Sallem suddenly deflated with a grunt.

"And I had a good line for that too..." Sallem grumbled over the video phone. "Fine, fine, fine, how's this? While I don't know the effects of the mutagens, I was able to convince a cop I know into giving me any details they had on the case." He said as he flipped through a folder. "According to the reports, there were 9 different mutagens lost in the area. Like I've already said, I have no idea what they are, but they seemed to be only in minute amounts. Nothing that could cause people to turn into Kaijus or something like that, at least I hope not, but wouldn't it be something incredible if they did?" He sighed as he looked up, obviously fantasizing. "Still, anyone who intakes these things in one way or another are likely to change drastically."

"That's a lot of girls," Sighed Rito in exasperation. "And you're warning me about this, why?"

"I value my friends," Shrugged Sallem. "I know you don't think of me the same way, but I like to look out for good people when I can." With that, his slot in the photo insert vanished.

"Oh boy, Rito." Sighed Rito as he hung his head in exhaustion. "You've really stepped in it this time. Before I know it, I'm gonna be dating lizard women."

* * *

There you go! One chapter out of five done! Prepare for the next chapter in a week! Look forward to it my faithful readers!


	2. Not Another Angry Mob!

Hello one and all! Here comes another chapter in Volume 5, primed and ready for your viewing pleasure. Please take your time to enjoy this and many more of my works, all of which are available right on my profile page. Thank you, and please enjoy.

* * *

**Homeroom - With Rito, Lala, Yami, and Yui  
**

"If this is true, then the circumstances are indeed worrying." Yami said once Rito told her Sallem's message.

"Tell me about it," Sighed Rito as he scratched his chin in contemplation. "While I'm pretty certain that there's more to this than just what Sallem's telling us, my twisted luck is making all of us step in it this time. The look he had on his face when he started talking about Kaijus has gotten me especially worried." Unabated, images of every girl he knew transforming into some kind of giant monster went through his mind, sending shivers up his spine.

"Even if all of this is true, what do you think we should do about this?" Yui asked worriedly

"I could try to build a machine to track them down," Lala offered, though not in her usual high spirits. "But I'd need to have samples of each of them to program a tracking sequence."

"If we had the samples, we wouldn't need to build a device to find them." Yami pointed out the paradoxical flaw in her plan. "Not to mention that mutagens are fairly common goods for cosmetic, medical, or even combat purposes. There are so many different varieties on the galactic market in both legal and illegal channels, that it would be next to impossible to get samples from them all."

"Are mutagens really that popular in space?" Yui asked curiously, her tail swinging in interest.

"They're much like how tattoos and cosmetic surgery are on Earth," Yami explained as her mother and Honekawa-sensei walked in the room to begin class, and everyone began to take their seats. "While there are some radical differences in application and results, the reasons people have for getting them are more or less the same as their counterparts on Earth. Rebellion, vanity, intimidation, necessity, a drunken night, or just because."

"I never really saw the point in them though," Lala whispered to Rito from her seat. "I think I'm just fine the way I am, right Rito?"

"You're beautiful," Rito whispered back sincerely.

"Rito, Lala, eyes forward, and no whispering!" Tearju scolded them.

"Yes Ma'am." Replied Lala and Rito nervously. In spite of her ridiculously exaggerate hourglass figure, Tearju could be a very intimidating woman when teaching.

_'I'm actually dating her?'_ Rito thought in disbelief. _'The manipulations of an evil ghost are a terrifying thing. Under normal circumstances, I probably never would have landed a catch like her.'_

* * *

**Lunch Period - With Rito**

"I seem to be on my own a lot today," Remarked Rito as he scanned the room for familiar faces, but came up empty. "Lala's working on one of her inventions, Ryouko has to deal with all the people that got hurt in gym today," He shivered as he thought back to how some guy in the baseball club who thought himself some kind of super Casanova, but was actually a total wannabe, had upset a lot of girls when he dropped shots of them in the changing room that he was selling to some friends of his. Apparently he had done this before, and none of the girls were happy about it happening again. Rito thought he looked kind of familiar, but he must have been too inconsequential for him to remember.

"Yui's busy with the Disciplinary Committee, Run's got her job today, and Yami's hanging out with Tearju, Nana, and her new friend Mea." Hunching over in his seat, Rito sighed. "While I'm glad that Yami's opening up to more people and Nana has some friends she can hang out with, I can't help feeling a little lonely." Bending back in his seat while munching on his lunch, Rito reflected on his emotions. "It's funny, normally I'd find myself wishing for some peace and quiet, but now I just want them to be here. Maybe I have an aversion to loneliness?"

Already halfway finished with his lunch, he decided to pack up what was left and wander around. "I wonder if Momo could use some company..." Thought Rito aloud as he left the room to search for her. When thoughts of what she might define as 'company' from him surfaced in his mind, his face turned a tinge of red. "Then again, if I try that things might go pretty far." He muttered neutrally. Little did he know that he was being watched by dangerous eyes.

_'I've got to warn the others about this!'_ Thought the stalker angrily as he pulled out a cellphone.

* * *

**Same Time - A Certain Room**

"What was that?!" Exclaimed an unimportant boy in a mask angrily. "Did he really say that?!" A brief silence, "That beast! We cannot allow this! Keep tailing him and wait for our arrival!" Hanging up with a bitter grunt, the unimportant boy addressed a crowd of similarly masked and equally unimportant boys in an authoritative tone that really didn't work for him. "Gentlemen! It has just come to my attention that our idol is in grave danger!"

"OH NO!"

"Say it isn't so!"

"We can't allow this!"

"Who is responsible!?"

"Let's kill the guilty party!"

"Why are there so many whackjobs in the bathroom again?" Asked a more important teen as he entered the room and went over to the urinal. "You guys really need to get a life. Spending so much time as a group obsessing over one girl is really unhealthy." He lectured them as he took a leak, all of the unimportant boys just staring in shock. "I mean seriously, you guys are crazy fanboys. Instead of grouping together to all worship the same girl like she's some kind of super idol, why don't you set some more realistic goals for yourselves instead of degrading yourselves to this. Seriously, I've seen things like this on TV before. It always ends up with a bloodbath between the girl cult when she finally chooses to go after someone who doesn't obsess over her and creep her out."

"What do you know?!" Demanded the enraged head idiot as he slapped his hand against an over sized poster of Momo for emphasis. "Our idol - nay, our Goddess - is a pure and perfect example of the female species! We are each prepared to protect her purity for the day when she inevitably chooses only one of us, and the rest of us are willing to step down when that happens! Don't you dare make light of our resolve!"

"Here, here!" Seconded every other idiot in the room enthusiastically.

"Pretty words," Chuckled the important teen as he finished up his business and went to wash his hands, completely ignoring anyone in his way. "But ultimately, it's going to amount to just that in the end. Pretty words, and nothing more." He mocked them sadistically as he scrubbed his hands with soap and water. "Since you all took the liberty to break down your fantasy plan into easy to understand steps for me, I'm going to be just as generous, and explain to you all how reality is going to play out." As he casually went over to the air dryer, everyone else in the room glared at him, but some mysterious force stayed their hands for the moment, allowing the important teen to continue his spiel.

"First, all of you are going to worship and wait on her hand and foot for your entire school lives, sacrificing the better part of your educations for a girl who will never return any affections you hold for her." He paused to lick his gums for a few seconds. "Second, anywhere between 25 to 75 percent of you will eventually wise up within the first year of this idol worship, either to focus on your much neglected education again, because you've found a girl who genuinely likes you, you get sent to Juvie Hall for sexual harassment and/or stalking, or any combination of the above." Finally remembering that air dryers are completely useless, he went over to the head idiot and casually used his shirt for a towel, completely ignoring his shouts of protest.

"Third, by the time she finally does get a boyfriend who isn't going to be any one of you, almost all of you will either have been arrested, or moved on to more worthwhile things, sometimes both. And finally," He was about to finish, before the head bozo punched him in the gut, though he didn't notice or even flinch. "The few of you who are left stalking her will spend the rest of your lives sulking over what you perceived to be missed chances, worshiping and pleasuring yourselves to her photos, and surviving on the streets by eating rotten garbage food due to poor character and a lack of education. And remember everyone, knowledge is power!" With an exaggerated bow farewell, the intelligent male silently excused himself from the bathroom, the fists of anyone who tried to beat him for his insults throbbing in pain from the many failed attempts.

Once outside the bathroom, Sallem's ears twitched as he caught the head retard going at his stalker speech again, and receiving many hooplas and hoorays in response. Silently chiding them as he shook his head, he turned back for a moment with a chuckled and his signature mutilated grin. "Sometimes people just have to learn their lessons the hard way. Oh well, no more skin off my face than the usual." He thought aloud before jumping out the window. "And to think, I originally came here only to place DNA monitors on Rito and every female he knew as a precaution against the mutagens, yet when I get here, I find that so many possibilities have arisen in such a short time. It really makes you think about how complex Chaos Theory can be sometimes."

* * *

**Back With Rito**

"Brrrr!" Shivered Rito as a chill crept up his spine. "I wonder what that was all about? Is something weird going to happen soon? Because that's what it feels like." Peering cautiously around the next corner in the hallway, he finds that his worries are not unfounded, as a menacing looking group of students is marching down the hall like a squad on a mission. _'Why is it that I'm getting so good at calling these things?'_ He wondered worriedly as he tried to talk himself out of believing that they were after him, but as he caught sight of the pins with Momo's face on them some of them had fixed to their shirts, he accepted the truth that they were indeed here for him.

_'Just my luck,'_ Rito thought tiredly as he shielded himself from sight by using some other passing students as a shield. _'Another angry mob is after me, right on cue it would seem. If the usual pattern holds up, I guess this time Momo's joining the harem.'_ As he took his time to contemplate the implications of that, a less than savory thought worked into his head. _'If it happens that way, then there's no telling what she might do. At this point, I'm pretty much fine with any girls, so long as I know them well, but Momo's always been a little too enthusiastic about the idea of a harem. Since I'm not a virgin anymore, it probably won't be anything too surprising, but she's always been a bit... frisky.'_

Pausing to look back, he just caught sight of the last of the mob working its way around the corner he had just come from. "It's scary how used to this stuff I'm starting to get," He whispered to himself as he split off from the group he was hiding in. "It really is. Now with them on the lookout, where would be the best place for me to hide?" He wondered as he scanned along his path for various possible hideouts. "Honestly, why is it that so few guys at this school actually seem to have lives outside of wanting girls? I can't help but feel as if they're actually trying to give my gender a bad name."

"Rito!" Came Momo's panicked voice as she came rushing down the hall. Once she got to him, it became clear that she'd been running for a while based on her heavy breathing. "Thank goodness I... found you... before they could." She panted as Rito helped support her.

"Just calm down for a second, Momo," Rito told her gently as he guided her to a water fountain to get her a drink. "Right now I just want you to catch your breath, cool yourself down, and slowly and calmly tell me who 'they' are, and why you needed to find me before them. Everything else can wait until later."

Coming up from her drink with a gasp of air, Momo smiled gently at Rito. "Thank you so much, Rito~" She sighed in relief and an attempt at cuteness seduction as she pressed her cheek to his chest. "You're always so kind and gentle with me."

"Momo, angry mob, focus." Chided Rito firmly, with a playful bop to her head. "What was with that group of people that were wearing your face on buttons and sending off waves of killing intent."

"Eh? You could really feel something like that from them?" Momo asked in surprise. "Normally even people on Deviluke have to go through rigorous training for years to learn that. You must be some kind of prodigy if you learned it so soon..." She trailed off as she began to wonder what other fields he could be a prodigy in. "Wait, wait! Before all that, how did you know I came here to tell you about them?" She asked, getting back on track.

"It was pretty obvious," Deadpanned Rito as he pulled out his lunch, deciding that this was a good a place as any to eat for now. "Whenever something really weird goes on anywhere within a kilometer of me, there's almost always someone I know personally involved with it somehow. Even more so if it directly affects me, which is almost all the time."

Blinking a few times in contemplation of his answer, Momo thought back to just a few of the many odd happenstance that had gone on since she first met Rito. "That does seem to be a pattern, doesn't it?" She conceded.

"Yeah," Nodded Rito as he began eating. "At this point, I'm mostly just waiting for the bubble to really burst and make a murder happen while I'm around." He mumbled, not really caring that they were getting off topic. "Until that happens, I'm pretty sure that nothing will surprise me anymore."

"But if you're expecting it, how could it surprise you?" Momo asked as Rito offered her a sandwich.

"You never know how these things are going to go," Rito explained, taking a pause to swallow. "Even though I'm pretty much positive that a murder will happen around me eventually, I have no idea when it's going to happen. Also, unlike with any other crazy situation I may get into on a regular basis, I've never actually seen a dead body, unless you count Oshizu's artificial body, so it's going to make quite an impression on me no matter what."

"I guess that makes sense when you put it like that." Momo granted him before taking a bite from her sandwich. "This is really good. Who made it this morning?"

"Yami's actually been working on her cooking skills again," Rito answered. "She says that she wants to be as good as Tearju someday, but with the way she cooks compared to Yami, I really think their abilities are just going to go further and further in the opposite directions." He explained awkwardly. "I have no idea how she could find her cooking fine dinning, but so long as it helps them get along, I'm not going to complain."

"Speaking of Tearju and Yami," Momo began slyly.

"Before you even voice the question," Rito cut her off with a halting gesture. "I still haven't gotten a straight answer from you about your bloodthirsty fan club."

"I never said they were my fan club," Momo panicked, not wanting Rito to get the wrong idea about her and deny her a place in the harem. "What gave you that idea?"

"They made it pretty obvious with the buttons they were wearing." Rito explained.

"Well it's not like I asked them to fawn over me," Momo pouted in protest. "They just started waiting on me hand and foot on Tuesday, and I thought it wouldn't be so bad if I milked it for a while and let it pass, but by the end of Thursday I was just sick of the treatment they were piling on me."

"They started a fan club the day after you transferred in?" Rito quirked an eyebrow in disbelief. "I knew that some of the boys in this school were pretty desperate, but I never imagined it would be this bad."

"I think that they're starting to feel the pressure from your Alpha Male status in the school." Momo ventured.

"Alpha Male?" Rito tested the sound of the idea, not liking any of the possible implications that came to mind. "What exactly do you mean by that?"

"Well, with what a role you're on, you've probably already guessed by now," Momo remarked, Rito's slightly satisfied, slightly tired expression told her she was right. "But just in case you have any doubts, it's because you have a harem of beautiful women by your side. Even though I'm no expert on animals like Nana, I know that animals only fight for three reasons. Dominance, items of worth, and the right to mate."

"And they want me out of the way because I have a serious edge on them." Rito finished tiredly. "What is it about humans that makes them so shallow and difficult?"

"You say that like you're not a human," Noted Momo worriedly. "Is there something going on with you?"

"Maybe yes, maybe no," Sighed Rito before continuing his lunch. "I'm just beginning to see that I don't have all that much in common with any of the humans around me. I mean, I'll admit that I'm in love or at least attracted to a lot of the girls around me, but I wouldn't go on a raving rampage if one of them got together with someone else. Maybe I'm just some higher evolution of human that only recently developed." Shaking his head tiredly as he pushed himself from the wall, he started walking down the hall again. "Now if you'll excuse me, I really need to be running now."

"What do you mean by that?" Momo asked him.

"There he is!" Came an angry voice from down the hall, drawing Momo's attention instinctively to the fanboy postured like an objecting, bow-legged, chimpanzee in a courtroom. "And he's dared to approach Momo-chan! After him!" The sub-human yelled as he led a charge of desperate idiots.

When Momo switched her view back to Rito in alarm and concern, she saw that he was already gone. "Rito, what's happening with you?" She whispered worriedly.

* * *

**Schoolyard - With Nana, Mea, Yami, and Tearju**

"Haaaaa~" Sighed Nana pleasantly from her relaxed seat on a bench with Mea, while Tearju and Yami occupied the one next to theirs. "Sometimes things are so perfect you just want to lay back and enjoy everything about the day. This is one of those days, don't you agree?" She asked Mea cheerfully.

"It is pretty nice," Mea agreed, actually enjoying herself while she waited for a good chance to get Yami back to her old life. "I wonder if there's any way to make it better." She whispered to herself as quietly as a mouse, her true intentions subtly working out a bit.

"Make it better..." Hummed Nana in contemplation, alerting Mea to the fact she had voiced her thoughts aloud. "I've got just the thing!" She exclaimed as she pulled out her phone and began dialing up several of her smaller and cuter friends.

"Nana, what did you just do?" Mea asked in astonishment.

"I told you I had a lot of animals," Nana smiled as she invited some fluffy ones over. "I just called a few over to play with us." She explained as she handed a woolly little ball of fluff to Mea.

"This thing is soft." Whispered Mea curiously as the little fluff ball started licking her affectionately. "Ha ha ha, that tickles!" She giggled as more animals began approaching them.

"What's going on here!?" Panicked Tearju as several animals began crawling around in her bosom and up her thighs. "This doesn't feel right!" She fidgeted as she tried to shake them all out.

"That's strange..." Said Nana worriedly. "They don't normally act like this. I wonder what could be wrong." As she contemplated what she could do to help, the eerie voices of her animals creeped in her ears.

_'Hey, look over there.' 'Those guys are licking that milky lady all over.' 'Do you think we should start licking people too?' 'I think we should.' 'That one looks pretty crowded though.' 'There's three others right here though.' 'Let's get started then!'_

As the small fluffy animals glared at them menacingly, Nana knew she had made a terrible mistake. It was all she could do to let out a cry of fear and terror before her animals turned on her, Yami, Mea, and Tearju in a frenzy of flying fur and wagging tongues.

"WAAAHHHHHH! Get them off of me!" Panicked Tearju as her body flailed and jiggled around in an effort to shake the animals off.

"Wait! Stop you guys! I mean it! You're all much better behaved than this!" Demanded Nana, being the only one able to fully communicate with the animals she summoned.

"Ecchi," Seethed Yami as she began pounding any approaching animals into the dirt. "Only Rito is allowed to do that to me."

"Waaahhh! My animals!" Cried Nana in distress. They might be out of control right now, but these animals were still her friends.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Is this something normal for them to do?" Laughed Mea, the only one actually enjoying the treatments she was getting.

"Why am I not surprised this is happening?" Rito deadpanned as he walked upon the scene. "Yami, do you think you could give me a hand here?" He asked as he casually began removing animals from Tearju's body, not minding that he had to reach in her cleavage to grab a few of them.

"Of course, Rito." Yami said as she began removing the animals from her mother, and pounding them with her hair. "I don't like these animals, anyway."

"Like them or not, I'm pretty sure that smashing them like you are is animal cruelty." Rito pointed out as he yanked the last animal off of Tearju and threw it in a pile with the ones Yami smashed. While he may not approve of the extreme methods Yami used, seeing what she did to their fellow animals did seem to deal a profound blow to their nerves.

"My friends~" Whined Nana as Rito began casually plucking her small furry friends from her body. "What do you think you're doing to them!?" She demanded of Rito angrily as she tried to attack him.

"Getting them off of you?" Rito replied sarcastically as he dodged her grappling with ease. "Or do you want to be covered from head to toe in over-affectionate animals like your friend over there?" He asked as he gestured over to Mea.

"Ummm..." Nana hesitated as she took notice of how Mea was basically getting molested by her animals, and enjoying every moment of it by the looks of things. "I... really think I'd rather not." She replied pathetically, her voice getting wobbly as a few of her animals started working their way into her skirt. "Waaahhh, get them out, GET THEM OUT!" She panicked as she began dancing about.

"Just hold still for a second," Requested Rito as he yanked two animals off her arm. "Why did you dial up so many of them anyway?"

"I thought it would be a good way to bond with Mea," Pouted Nana. "She sometimes gets this vacant and lonely look in her eyes, like she's reliving some old trauma, so I just wanted to see if I could cheer her up somehow."

"That's very nice of you to look out for your friend like that," Rito smiled as he pulled out the last animal from under her skirt, dodging a strike immediately afterwords. "However, next time I think you may want to just stick with a cat or something." He didn't suggest a dog because he'd had several unpleasant experiences with them in the past.

"I guess that would probably work a bit better," Nana admitted, feeling deep shame for her impulsiveness.

"All things considered though, I think things worked out eerily fine nonetheless." Rito reassured her as he pat her on the head comfortingly, though he couldn't help making a few uneasy glances at Mea, who still looked like she was having too much fun with things. "Maybe we should get those animals off your friend first, though." He suggested awkwardly.

"Agreed." Nodded Nana.

* * *

**Yuuki Household - Bedtime - With Rito**

Rito yawned as he pulled the covers over his body. He'd had a long day and wasn't in any mood to put off bed rest. However, while Tearju had unofficially moved in with his family, she was spending tonight with Ryouko, so it seemed he was sleeping alone tonight... At least until one of the other residents in the house tried to sneak in, at which point he'd just keep quite and let them crawl in bed with him. Strange as it may sound, Rito now had trouble falling asleep without having at least one girl in bed with him. He didn't know what it was exactly, but having a girl by his side at night was comforting.

Suddenly, about an hour after he got in bed, he heard the door slowly creak open and closed, as well as footsteps trying their hardest to stay quiet. Having lived with so many people for so long now, he could tell who was who just by the subtle sounds they made when moving. Rito was surprised that Nana of all people was sneaking into his room, but he let her hesitantly approach and eventually sneak into his bed without giving any hint he was awake. He didn't mind her being here, and as she gently pressed herself against his back, he was glad that she was opening up to him, even if it was only when she thought he was asleep.

Deciding that he should try to press the matter a bit further, Rito grumbled and turned over while still pretending to be asleep, wrapping Nana in his arms in the process. Rito suspected he could get away with this because she still thought he wasn't awake.

"You-you idiot," Mumbled Nana as a blush came to her face, though she made no signs or motions of retreating. In fact, while she wouldn't admit it out loud, and especially not when he was awake, part of her actually enjoyed how warm it was to be wrapped in the embrace of another person, especially Rito.

_'I think I'm beginning to get the hang of this,'_ Rito thought as Nana nestled herself in his arms. He knew it'd be likely that she'd either be gone by the time he woke up, or she'd try to smack him in the morning, but for now, he'd just let her sleep. _'I wonder if I should be afraid that things like these are beginning to become easy for me? Maybe, but I suppose I can worry about that in the morning.'_ That being one of the last fading thoughts in his mind, with a girl in bed with him, he was finally able to get to sleep.

Meanwhile, from the roof of a building several blocks away, Mea was scoping out Rito with her ones eye. "The nerve of that boy," She growled as her right hand turned into a plasma cannon. "How dare he turn my Onee-chan away from the life of Darkness. If I can just kill him, if I can manage that much, then the despair Golden Darkness would go through would turn her back to the path of an assassin." Just as she was about to turn her weapon on Rito however, a muscular red arm reached out and grabbed her cannon, Mea's face turning chalk white the moment she saw it. "Please... no..."

"What have we told you about killing people?" Asked a rough female voice, a pair of yellow eyes glaring down at Mea.

"I'm sorry!" Panicked Mea, realizing she was busted. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I just want my Onee-chan! Please don't hurt me!"

"To get a girl to be your sister, you plan to kill her boyfriend and turn her into and assassin?" The red woman asked sarcastically. "And aliens wonder why they have such a bad reputation on Earth." She muttered.

"What are you going to do to me?" Mea asked meekly, not even bothering to resist.

"What am I going to do with you?" The red woman parroted. "I'm going to wait until we get home to Jackson, Jenn, and Karen, and from there on it's very simple," Deadpanned Elizabeth Ross-Cortez, better known as Red She-Hulk. "Cortez Family Smash."

* * *

There you go. Hope you don't think it's too short or ends too suddenly, but I didn't have much else to squeeze into this space. In case you're wondering: Yes, Jackson is Sallem's last brother to be mentioned. Yes, he's married to both the Red and Green She-Hulks from Marvel, as well as Power Girl from DC. And yes, they will all be making an appearance in the next chapter. Look forward to it! Tonda Gossa!


	3. Punchline to a Dirty Joke

Hello again! Glad to see Chapter 3, are you? Well good, I hope you really enjoy this, because it's gonna get a bit weird from here on out. Now, without further adieu, let's get this thing started!

* * *

**Sunday Morning - Zoo Entrance - With Rito, Lala, Nana, Momo, and Yami**

"Well, here we are." Said Rito. "Is there anybody missing?"

"Mea isn't here yet," Nana remarked curiously. "She said she'd try to meet us right away, but I can't see her anywhere."

"Perhaps we should sit down for a few minutes." Yami suggested. "If we go inside now, it'll be that much harder to meet up with her."

"Might as well," Rito remarked as they all kicked back on a nearby bench. "So, how have things been at school lately? With all that's been happening recently, we haven't really had as much time together as I would have liked."

"I know what you mean," Cooed Momo as she nuzzled Rito closely. "We haven't been able to have any alone time together."

"Keep at a distance," Yami told her bluntly as she lifted her away from Rito by the scruff of her shirt, taking her place next to him.

"That was mean, Yami." Momo pouted. "I thought we were all in this together."

"I never agreed to your involvement," Yami pointed out. "Ryouko, Yui, Lala, Haruna, and my mother, I've all accepted. But your intentions are too obvious and dubious to be trusted."

"You really don't bother hiding anything, do you?" Momo said nervously.

"I have no real need to," Yami said plainly as she nuzzled in the crook of Rito's neck. "The fact of the matter is, I'm in Rito's harem, and you're not. You wild animal." As Yami said this, imaginary arrows labeled 'Wild Animal' and 'Not in Harem' stuck themselves into Momo's back.

"That's... very... blunt of you..." Momo twitched in barely contained offense.

"There, there you two. Why don't you just take a step back before you hurt someone." Rito said calmly as he pat them both on the head. "We came here so we could all have a nice day at the zoo. I don't want to see anybody fighting here today. Understand?"

"Very well," Yami said as she held him tightly. "Just for today, I won't hurt people." While Rito wanted to tell her that hurting people during any day was a bad thing, he accepted that progress with Yami still needed a few more steps.

"I understand perfectly, Rito." Blushed Momo happily. _'I just love his responsible face. It's like he's practically an adult. I can't help but wonder if this maturity carries over to some other areas...' _Her thoughts faded into obscene and graphic images at this moment, so let's keep prying eyes away from her mind right now, shall we?

"I see that none of you have changed all that much," Sounded a baritone, yet jovial voice. Instantly, Lala, Nana, and Momo were stiff as boards.

"That voice, it can't be." Whispered Nana breathlessly.

"But what if it is?" Whispered Momo hopefully.

"Could it really be...?" Wondered Lala excitedly as she looked around.

"Could it really be who?" Asked Rito, worried as to where this was going.

"I think they're talking about me." Came a happy voice from behind Rito, taking him by surprise, but not so much as to upset his composure. Before he could turn to see who it was however, the girls reacted.

"JACKSON!" Cried Lala, Nana, and Momo excitedly as they launched themselves at the mountain of a man behind Rito. He had to have been at least ten feet tall, and every inch of his body was built of strong, well-defined, yet not exaggerated muscle. He was dressed in old fashioned clothes; a flame patterned samurai gi, a large kasa, geta sandals, and a rainbow patterned scarf. His hair was red as blood, and tied in a long ponytail. Speaking of tails...

"You're one of Sallem's brothers, aren't you?" Rito remarked as he caught sight of the red furred tail swinging behind this Jackson person.

"Unfortunately, yes." Jackson admitted playfully as he set Lala, Nana, and Momo down. "It's kinda hard to deal with the wild family I've got when you're such a nice guy like me. But family's family, what can ya do?" He shrugged calmly.

"Well these three really seem to like you," Rito remarked as he noticed Lala and her sisters were the happiest he'd seen them in a while.

"That's because I always bring the best stories to tell," Jackson explained. "Like my brothers, I tend to do a lot of traveling, and more often than not I wind up saving some village, planet, kingdom, or some such nonsense."

"That sounds like a lot more than just some nonsense," Remarked Rito in awe.

"It is when you have to deal with it every other vacation," Said a seven-foot, muscular, green-skinned woman in a purple workout uniform of a midriff shirt and bike shorts. "I have to deal with saving people enough in the courtroom, I don't need to do it during my time off too."

"Jenn's got a point," Agreed an equally muscular and tall red-skinned woman in a black workout uniform. "Just once I'd like our time off not to be filled with saving some lemmings in need of a cliff. Don't get me wrong, I like wrecking bad guys, but I'd like time for other things too." Judging by the way she looked at Jackson, Rito could guess as to what some of those 'other things' were.

"Let me guess," Began Rito, ignoring the stares the gathering crowd was giving them. "You two are Jackson's significant others?"

"I think you mean us three," Declared an average sized, though physically fit and well endowed blond woman in a casual white button-up shirt and blue jeans. While most of the crowd were caught off guard by the fact that she was flying unaided, Rito and his harem were more curious about who she held in her hand by the scruff of her shirt.

"Mea?!" Wondered Nana in shock. "What are you doing there?!"

"Believe me, I really don't want to be." Mea complained, her spirit seemingly crushed completely.

"I take it Sallem asked you to keep an eye on her?" Rito deduced. "Make sure she doesn't cause trouble and all that."

"Why would she need to be watched?" Momo asked curiously. "With the way she is, it doesn't look like she could hurt anyone."

"Appearances can be deceiving," Rito began as he casually walked over to Mea and grabbed her by her sides. "Excuse me, but do you think you could let her down now? I think I can take her from here."

"No problem kiddo," The flying woman complied, descending to the ground herself. "By the way, the name's Karen, but you can call me Power Girl if that suits you."

"Jennifer," The green woman introduced herself briskly. "But you can call me Jenn, or maybe She-Hulk. Either or will work fine."

"Elizabeth," The red woman introduced herself with an aggressive look in her eye. "But don't call me that, or Betty. Red She-Hulk only."

"They seem like a nice bunch to be your jailers," Rito remarked casually to Mea as he ruffled her hair playfully. "Judging by how much Lala and her sisters like him, there are definitely far worse people you could have keeping you from acting up."

"I'm not a bad person!" Panicked Mea, desperately hoping that they'd believe her, and maybe get her away from her captors while they're at it. "These people have been doing horrible things to me! They're the reason I've been hurt so badly like this, I didn't do anything wrong!" That was a lie, and even in her skewed sense of morality she knew it was. She'd brutalized and killed hundreds of people, far more than her sister had done. Mea was a killer through and through, but she'd gotten so many rotten brakes because of it lately that even she was considering at least a temporary career change.

"I don't believe you," Yami told her flatly. "Jackson Cortez is well known throughout the galaxy for his heroic exploits. If you ask almost anybody in the galaxy that leads an honest life, they'd agree that he only hurts those who deserve it. The only ones who'd say otherwise are low-life criminals."

This caught Mea off-guard. She honestly hadn't been expecting Jackson to have a good reputation, but then again, her only contact with other people before coming to this planet involved assassination and other criminal activities. While she was also a bit offended that everyone she'd ever had partially pleasant workings with had just been labeled as low-life criminals - not so much for their sake, as it was for making her look stupid and ill-informed - she knew there were more pressing issues to address.

"Well it wasn't him exactly," Mea corrected herself in embarrassment. "But it was still some friends of his! You've gotta get me away from them. These people are crazy!"

"None of us are going to contest that." Nana said to her friend as she pat her on the back, not bothering to defend Jackson and his wives. "But Jackson's crazy in all the right ways. If he's watching over you, then it's just because he wants to help you." Wrapping Mea in a quick hug before holding her comfortably at arms length, Nana frowned when she saw how troubled her friend looked. "If there's something wrong going on in your life, then it's okay to just come out and say it. We're friends after all." She reassured her with a gentle smile.

_'No, no, no, no, no!'_ Thought Mea in frustration. _'This isn't how it's supposed to go! Why couldn't things have gone smoothly?! Yami-onee-chan was supposed to kill the one called Rito and come back to space with me! We belong in the Darkness! Not surrounded by normal people! The only way for a weapon to live is by fighting and killing people! That's all there is for people like us! No one but a weapon can understand a weapon!'_

"Your circumstances seem to be pretty incredible for someone so young," Rito suddenly cut into her thoughts as he placed his hands on the shoulders of Nana and herself. "However, just because you're not used to the concept of being friends with people, doesn't mean that it's impossible." As Mea looked at him in awe and fear, Rito just chuckled. "Don't worry, I'm not a mind reader by any stretch of the imagination. I'm just getting really good at reading people. Now come on, we came here to enjoy the zoo, so that's what we're going to do." Giving them both a quick pat on the back, he ushered them towards the entrance.

Meanwhile, Lala looked on in admiration, happy to see that Rito seemed to be growing up. She already knew he was a very responsible man. It's part of why she truly loved him with all her heart. As her heart fluttered at thoughts of the future, she jumped a little from a gentle pat on the back. "So that's the guy you've chosen to marry," Jackson noted sagely. "Seems like a nice kid. He's got a good head on his shoulders."

"He does," Lala smiled widely at her love. "I just feel so warm around him. No one else has ever made me feel like this. None of those lame suitors daddy picked out ever even came close."

"Yeah, your dad has terrible judgment." Jackson joked as his longer stride made him pull ahead. "I swear, the only parents worse than him are Pure-Blood Saiyans." Shaking his head disdainfully, he continued. "Honestly, those people have no place raising children. When I become a dad someday, I'm gonna always be there for my kids, and teach them good family values."

"You always have such amazing stories of the best places, Jackson." Lala said as she caught up with him. "I've never even heard of Saiyans and I already want to know more."

"Another time, perhaps," Jackson chuckled as he ruffled Lala's hair. "But right now, there's something a bit more pressing on my mind."

"What's that?" Lala asked, surprised to hear such a serious tone from her normally fun loving friend.

"It's about this Rito guy of yours," Jackson began. "Now I'm pretty certain that this has already brought to your attention, but when you first met him, he wouldn't have even given you the time of day had you asked."

"Probably not," Lala admitted, a bit less down than when this topic usually gets brought up, having gotten used to the familiar sting that old shame brought up. "His first love was always Haruna. I just got in the way at the time."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to chew you out over that," Jackson reassured her. "I wasn't here to see it myself, but it sounds like things worked out okay. However," Lala grumbled. There was always some 'but' or 'however' with these lectures. "There's a good reason things worked out. You see, Rito's at a crucial point in his development. He's at a crossroads where he's still trying to figure out exactly what he wants to be. The fact that he managed to change his views on group marriage at all is proof of that. If he were 10, or even 5 years older, he'd likely be too set in his lifestyle choices to give you so much as a second thought or passing glance."

Noticing that Lala was really looking down now, Jackson pat her on the head again. "What I'm trying to say is this. Rito's growing and changing at a rapid rate, especially so since his very way of life is being turned on its head. He might wind up a completely different person than the guy you first met when you ran away. Now you're either gonna have to be prepared for that, or make sure he winds up in a good place once he finds his groove for life. As one of the people closest to him, it's kind of your job."

Pushing Lala forward with a gentle nudge, Jackson smiled at her and whispered. "If you want him to turn out right, you've gotta make sure he's getting a good balance of responsible and playful influences." As Lala tilted her head in confusion, Jackson took off his kasa for a second, and pointed the tips of his ears towards Momo and Nana. Putting his hat back on with a nod, he and his wives turned to leave. "Oh, and Peke," He called out to the costume robot.

"What is it Jackson?" Peke queried from her perch on Lala's head.

"Don't give up hope so easily," Jackson said. "Things like these aren't over 'til they're over. You've made a good choice from what I can tell."

Suddenly, Peke started steaming a bit. "I-I have no idea what you're talking about, Jackson!" Blushed Peke madly.

"Yo ho ho ho ho ho!" Guffawed Jackson. "Happy trails!" He called out as he picked up She Hulk and Red She Hulk, jumping several stories to the rooftops once they were nestled on his shoulders. Casually shrugging, Power Girl flew after them.

"Peke, what was Jackson talking about just now?" Lala asked her friend curiously.

"I have no idea," Peke denied hurriedly. "Now let's catch up with Rito and the others before we get left behind."

"Oh, right," Remembered Lala as she hustled off after them. "But still, why would he say that to you if you wouldn't understand it?"

"I'll think it over while we're at the Zoo, Lala-sama," Peke reassured her, barely convincing her of her sincerity. "Maybe something will come to mind as we look at the animals." She suggested, secretly glad that Lala wasn't exactly the most attentive of girls.

"Okay then," Smiled Lala as she caught up with Rito, who'd already purchased their tickets. "I really hope that they have some chickens, pigs, and cows!"

"Lala, we're not here to go grocery shopping," Rito reminded her.

"I know that," Lala chuckled as she latched on to his side. "I'm just hoping that they have some at the petting zoo."

"They'll probably have chickens, and maybe even pigs, but cows aren't likely." Nana guessed. "They won't want to risk the kids getting hurt."

"I hear that goats are pretty popular at petting zoos." Momo remarked as she tried to approach Rito, but Yami got in the way as she latched onto his other side. Seeing this, Momo huffed in disdain. "I'll have you know that I was the first one in favor of the Harem Plan." She said indignantly. "If anyone's going to get close to Rito and turn him into a carnivore, it should be me."

"Enought with that Momo," Rito sighed while Nana growled, both of them turning to each other in mild shock.

"What's got you complaining?" Nana said crossly. "I thought you'd be glad to have more floozies to mess around with."

"Yami, don't kill her," Rito preemptively scolded her the moment her hair started transforming. "People tend to react poorly when they feel that the people they love are in some kind of trouble."

"Wh-wh-where did you get a crazy idea like that?" Nana asked in a panic "I am not in love with anyone, Rito!" She denied with a blush.

"I was talking about how you're worried about Lala," Rito explained, causing Nana to have a brain fart. "There's different kinds of love you know. What did you think I was talking about?"

Nana, realizing that she was suddenly in a very precarious position, but selectively refusing to acknowledge it, immediately backpedaled. "N-n-nothing! Get your mind out of the gutter, you wild hentai beast!"

"My mind isn't in the gutter." Denied Rito nonchalantly. "We came here to relax over the weekend, not work ourselves into a frenzy. Maybe you should just take a step back and cool your heels."

Lala looked on at the conversations flowing between Rito, Momo, and Nana. As she did so, she remembered what Jackson had said about how Rito needed balance to mature properly. Jackson, unlike his brothers, had never lied to her before, so she knew she could trust his judgment on this one. "But how to do it..." She whispered.

"Did you say something, Lala?" Asked Rito as they entered the aquarium.

"Huh?! Nothing, nothing!" Denied Lala quickly, looking for something to distract him. "Hey! Are those manatees?" She asked in honest, though somewhat forced sounding excitement. "Ever since I found out about them, I've always thought they were just so cute!" Grabbing Yami by the arm, she ushered her towards the huge tank containing said aquatic mammals.

"She's certainly easy to please," Rito chuckled as he watched how animatedly Lala was talking with Yami. It made him particularly happy to see Yami had a small but noticeable smile on her face as well. "Looks like I don't have to worry about her." He said with muted happiness as another person watch on in a silent rage.

_'How dare he!'_ Thought Mea angrily, her face contorting in anger. _'How dare he take my sister away from me! If I wasn't treading on paper thin ice, I'd kill him now and be done with it.'_ But just as those thoughts worked through her head, she was also pitifully reminded of her own severe lack of leeway on this planet. If she made so much as one step out of line, the Cortez Family would have her head on a platter, literally!

If the tales of their potential cruelty was even a fraction of what she'd heard - and given that she was currently short an arm, leg, and eye, the tales were very painfully true - they could keep her alive even if there was nothing more than her brainwaves left, and make her live through hundreds of simulated years of pure misery. Mea may be a professional killer, but even she had to admit that there were people of a vastly higher caliber than her. As her head drooped in defeat, Nana placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I don't know what's causing you so much trouble," Nana began softly. "But whatever it is, you've got friends like me around to keep your spirits up." Her voice dropping to a whisper, she continued. "I know that Rito may be a wild beast, but I'll admit that he's at least observant. I don't like having him around, but he makes a good point sometimes."

"He's not a wild beast at all," Objected Momo, surprising both Nana and Mea at her intrusion. "Rito's like a gentle willow tree tickling at all your sweet spots. He's the most caring, daring, and helpful man in the world, and someday soon, I'm going to be part of his glorious harem, and we'll do naughty things almost every day."

"See what I mean?" Nana asked Mea, stating Momo as an example. "Only someone as nasty as they come could get a perverted maniac like her interested."

"Rito could be good to you too, you know." Momo reminded her. "He doesn't care about the size of your chest. He'll capture any girl who catches his eye without fail." Leaning in close, she whispered to Mea. "If you really try at it, I'm sure he wouldn't mind adding you to the harem. There's always room for one more after all."

As she watched Nana and Momo bicker about Rito, Mea could only regard them with confusion and curiosity. During her limited observations of Rito, Mea had managed to figure out almost nothing about him. All she could see was that he seemed to be kind to the point of suicidal. He knew Yami was out to kill him, but he still treated her with respect and goodwill. Not only that, but somehow he had managed to brainwash her into believing that they could understand each other. If it weren't for her severe impairment at the time, she'd finish the job herself. She was so caught up in her musings that she barely noticed Nana and Momo had suddenly stopped arguing.

Blinking her one remaining eye at them curiously, both of them staring back at her, Mea asked. "Why are you two looking at me like that?" Slowly though, she noticed that they weren't actually looking at her, but rather at something behind her. Turning around in confusion, she nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw that Rito was casually sitting just inches behind her. _'How did he sneak through my defenses?'_ She wondered in a panic. _'I may only have one eye now, but my instincts are still as sharp as ever. Only a master of stealth could do something like this.'_ Fearfully wondering if there was, perhaps, far more to this Rito than met the eye, he just met her unsettled expression with an easygoing grin.

"Please, don't stop your discussion on my account," Rito joked. "You two looked like you were in a really heated debate, so I didn't want to interrupt."

"H-How long have you been listening to us?" Nana asked worriedly.

"Long enough," Rito answered vaguely as he stood up. "Come on, we came here to enjoy the exhibits, didn't we? What do you say we put aside all thoughts of this harem thing for today, and just go with the flow? After all, Yami and Lala really seem to be enjoying themselves." Tilting his head towards them as an example, both girls did indeed seem to be greatly enjoying themselves, discussing the writing on the tanks while observing the fish in awe. While Lala being happy to be somewhere new was completely normal, to see Yami's face light up like it was had never before been witnessed by the bickering twins and their amputee friend.

"I've never seen Yami like that," Nana said, completely awestruck. "Usually she looks like she couldn't care less about anything, but right now she actually looks... happy."

"No doubt thanks to the power of Rito's support," Momo flattered him. "Now do you two see what he's capable of? He can even make the most jaded of people into blossoming flowers like this. Hopefully he can do something about attitude problem of yours, Nana."

"Momo," Rito scolded her before Nana had a chance to object.

"Alright, Rito." Pouted Momo as she latched onto his arm. "Why don't we go over this way? There's a kiosk where we can plan out our visit."

"You're not deciding anything without me," Nana insisted as she chased after them. "I can talk to animals, so I get first pick on where we go. Come one, Mea! We've got a long day ahead of us."

"We certainly do," Mea agreed, her words holding more than one meaning to them. Seeing Yami look so happy confused her to no end. All her life, she had only known violence, and that's what made her most comfortable. Even her time on Earth playing friends was little more than an exercise in patience and control for her. How could someone who was just a weapon like herself find happiness in companionship? While many would see Mea's perspective as utter madness, it was all she's ever known.

And this Rito, the one who'd managed to changer Yami so radically, what was so special about him? Why was he so friendly towards someone who tried to kill him when they first met? What was the reason for his kindness? While Mea would normally see compassion as a weakness, somehow, Rito had managed to turn it into a psychological weapon. _'I have to keep watching him carefully.'_ Mea thought as she followed after the group. _'If I can just figure out what he did to Yami Onee-chan, then I know I can find a way to undo it.'_ Of course, in spite of her recent extreme failures, Mea was almost entirely unaware of the concept of the hunter becoming the hunted.

_'Whatever her problem with me is, I hope I can help her sort it out,'_ Rito thought worriedly, once again picking up on the carefully concealed killing intent emanating from Mea. He'd first noticed it back when Nana had introduced her, and he'd discussed it with Yami shortly afterwords. Neither of them could really figure out her game, but they could tell from the start that she was more dangerous then she looked, and Jackson showing up today only reinforced the idea. For the time being at least, she didn't seem to want to risk making a move, and since Nana got along so well with her, he didn't want to do anything to ruin their friendship. With any luck, Mea would get over whatever problems she's had in the past, and focus more on living in happiness for the present and future.

* * *

**Summary of Zoo Time**

After the events of Nana and Momo's argument, the rest of the visit to the zoo went by uneventfully. Their trip went from the aquarium, where Lala hopped the rails and rode a dolphin, getting them chased out of the area, to the savannah area, where Nana's ability to understand animals had her overhearing some stuff that made her vomit. Once Rito got her some medicine and Sprite to calm her stomach, they'd continued on to the aviary where Mea quickly discovered she had absolutely no affinity for birds.

Once they managed to clean all the bird poo off of her at a washroom near the primate exhibit, Momo discovered that the her twin sister's words of men being no better than monkeys was a two way street. It took the better part of five minutes to get a monkey to let go of her tail, during which time Momo wouldn't stop clinging to Rito's torso like a koala bear. Eventually, they all decided that they'd had enough excitement for a while, and given that it was around 1:00 at this point, they stopped at the snack bar for lunch.

"This day has been one huge mixed batch," Nana sighed as she rubbed her stomach, all remaining aches of vomiting finally settling down.

"I'll say," Momo murmured as she iced her tail. "That monkey was way too rough. This is the reason I only trust Rito with my tail."

"You're lucky I'm too tired to get angry," Nana groaned as she leaned forward onto the table. "Where's Rito with our food anyway? I'm really getting hungry."

"Well, your stomach was just recently emptied." Pointed out Mea, once again checking her hair for bird droppings. "Now if only I could get out these last few flakes."

"We've already cleaned out your hair twice," Yami reminded her. "And you've been picking at it for nearly an hour. I've read that fussing with your hair that much can cause baldness."

"Seriously?!" Panicked Mea, her one hand dropping from her hair instantly. "But I can still feel some bird poo in my hair."

"But you've been checking it nonstop since we stopped washing it," Lala pointed out. "If you're still worried about it, maybe I could have one of my intentions clean you up one last time."

"Not in public, Lala." Interjected Rito, who appeared out of nowhere, making everyone but Yami jump in their seats a little. "No offense to you, but you might want to spend a little more time working out the kinks in your inventions before giving them their first real life test runs."

"Lala-sama's inventions aren't that bad." Peke defended her, somewhat offended as one of Lala's inventions herself.

"I didn't mean it like that, Peke." Rito apologized as he placed a plate of salmon in front of Lala. "You're an incredible piece of machinery with no flaws, but I've had enough bad experiences with Lala's inventions - especially her teleporters - to have a good deal of skepticism."

"Y-Y-You really think I'm incredible?" Peke stuttered with a blush on her face as she twiddled her wingtips. "And that I have no flaws? It makes me really, really happy to hear you say that, Rito." Giggling like a schoolgirl, Peke moved her face to the back of Lala's head.

"Don't mention it, Peke." Smiled Rito as he placed a half meat-lover, half vegetarian pizza between Nana and Momo, who glared at each other for their choice in toppings.

"You're lucky I'm not feeling too generous towards animals today." Nana remarked before she took a slice of vegetarian and began eating.

"And I don't get concerned about what you choose to eat anyway." Momo said before grabbing a slice of meat-lover, trying to act like the bigger girl.

"I wish I still had both hands," Mea pouted as she struggled to multitask eating and holding together her taco. "This would be so much easier to do."

"Here, let me see if I can't help you out there." Rito offered, taking a toothpick and sticking it through the center of the taco. "There, now you won't have to worry about it falling apart on you."

Loosening her grip a bit, Mea found that it did indeed stay together now. "Thanks for the help," She said gratefully as she began eating more casually. "I'm still getting used to not having both arms."

"I imagine it's something that only gets easier as time goes on," Rito smiled, placing a basket of grilled cheese sandwich wedges and sweet potato fries between himself and Yami. "You'll never be the same, but I know you'll learn to adapt."

"Speaking of adapting," Yami cut in as she held a few fries out. "Do you remember how much I've come to like doing this since we began dating?"

"How could I ever forget?" Chuckled Rito before chomping down on the food, holding out a few fries for Yami as he did so.

Looking at how close Yami was getting with Rito left a bad taste in Mea's mouth. While most people would be happy that their sister found someone to make their life better, Mea still had a skewed worldview. Even so though, she still found Nana are her relations to be oddly likeable, and in her own way valued her friendship with them. However, her dangerous obsession with Yami was still heavy on her mind. What was this feeling she got when looking at how happy she seemed to be with Rito? She knew it was envy, but envy of what? Envy of Rito getting so close to her sister? Envy of how happy Yami seemed after somehow abandoning the life of a weapon? Envy of Yami getting so close to Rito? When did things once so clear cut become so cloudy in her mind?

_'I have to know what Rito has with my Onee-san that I don't.'_ Mea thought with determination as she bit fiercely into her taco. Seeing as she was sitting right next to Rito, she decided she might try secretly using her powers to link up their minds and see what made him so special. Risky to use in front of others, yes, but worth it to learn what secrets lie within his psyche. Just as she was about to make her move however, synchronized cries of pain from Nana and Momo broke her focus and calm.

"Nana! What's wrong?!" Asked Mea, worried about her friend.

"Momo, Nana, what's happening to you?" Lala asked her sisters in a panic, Rito and Yami both quick to aid her by calling out for a doctor.

"I don't know... what's happening to me." Nana struggled to say.

"It feels like... something inside me is pulling my ribs and spine apart." Momo winced as she tried to prop herself onto the table.

"That's what it's like for me too..." Nana groaned as her body flopped onto the table. "And it's like... something's taking control of my body... to pull me forward."

"Rito... Onee-chan... I'm scared." Momo winced as some mysterious forced caused her to grab on tight to her sister.

"It's going to be okay, you two!" Rito reassured them as he quickly took their temperatures by holding their foreheads. "You don't feel warm, but whatever's going on, you're going to be fine. Do you hear me? I won't let anything happen to either you."

"Rito's strong words," Smiled Momo through the pain. "Listening to those... I feel like I could weather through anything."

"Baka, now's not the time for your flirting." Nana complained jokingly. "Whatever's wrong with us, we need help."

"Where is that doctor?!" Shouted Rito, a large crowd having gathered since the twins started convulsing. "These girls need medical attention!"

"Rito, there's something happening to them." Yami got his attention, pointing out that the girls have started glowing.

"What could possibly be making them light up like that?" Wondered Rito, trying to keep a level head. While he had some suspicions about it regarding the alien mutagens Sallem had mentioned a few days ago, Rito didn't want any uncertainties to cloud his judgment. "Could it be some kind of alien sickness again?" He asked Lala and Yami, receiving only unsure worried looks in return. "We've got to do something! Whatever this is, it's clearly not an Earth disease. We've got to get them to Ryouko's house, and fast!"

"What about Pyon-Pyon Warp-Kun?" Asked Lala as she got out her phone. "It could get us there in a second!"

"Can you guarantee it'll send us to the right place this time?" Rito asked.

"Of course. I've been working on it." Lala said proudly.

"Will it teleport our clothes with us this time?"

"I haven't gotten that part worked out yet." Lala admitted unflinchingly.

"What the hell, I suppose it's nothing we haven't seen already." Rito sighed as he reached for Nana and Momo to include them in the warp, but the light emanating from them became so powerful that it blinded everyone momentarily.

For a few painful seconds, the world around them was a blistering white pain on the eye. As it slowly began to die down, their eyes adjusted back to the normal amount of light. Rubbing and blinking the spots out of their eyes, Rito and company looked to make certain that Nana and Momo were okay, and their eyes widened in shock once they saw what happened.

"I've got a cramp in my shoulder," Winced Nana as she tried to push herself up, failing as her left arm refused to cooperate. "But the rest of the pain's died down now."

"My shoulder's fine," Momo said as she righted herself, even though she couldn't feel her right arm. "But I'm feeling really numb for some reason."

"Well there's something we can agree on," Nana said as she rubbed the spots from her eyes. "I can't move right, and my left half has this dull feeling in it."

"My right half doesn't feel right," Momo giggled as best she could at her pun with her sight just clearing up and some feeling beginning to return.

"This isn't funny, Momo." Deadpanned Nana as she turned to her sister. "We still don't know what happened to us, and until we do, we can't take chances."

"Your breath stinks," Momo complained as she backed up and waved her hand in front of her face. "I know we've just been through something traumatic, but could you please respect my personal space?"

"I'm trying to," Nana complained as she pulled back. "But something's pulling me in the other direction."

Suddenly, they both turned in shock as Rito rested his hands firmly on their shoulders. "Nana. Momo. I think you two might want to brace yourselves for this."

"Rito, in public?" Momo gasped. "I had no idea you'd gotten so bold, but I like it."

"Not like that," Rito shook his head as Nana and Momo suddenly became aware of the many odd stares they were receiving. "It's just... Well, you may need to look down to see my point."

"Look down?" Parroted Nana and Momo in unison as they did so out of curiosity. As they did so, their eyes slowly widened as fear and panic began to overtake them. Their clothes had been damaged somewhat, leaving them both scrambling to pull their clothes together, and that's when it really hit them. Right down the middle, two halves of different damaged clothes met with a tear down the middle. Reluctantly following the line upwards, they both came to a head that was somehow sharing their body. As the gravity of the situation began to fully dawn on them both, one thing immediately came to mind.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Panicked Nana and Momo as they tried to pull their fused body apart, neither liking the idea of suddenly going from twins to conjoined twins.

"Get your head off my body!" Nana demanded as she tried to force Momo's head off.

"Your body?" Repeated Momo in shock as she tried to yank off Nana's head. "Since when do you have such an ample chest?" She asked sarcastically as she groped the boob on Nana's side of the body.

"Don't touch that, it's mine now!" Nana smacked her hand away as she headbutted her sister. "This time, you can have the body with the washboard front!"

"Calm down, both of you." Rito interjected as he placed his hands between their heads. "Obviously we've got something to deal with now, but this isn't exactly the best place to do it, if you catch my drift."

Suddenly, Nana and Momo both became painfully aware of all the odd looks they were getting from the crowd of strangers.

"Nana," Momo began nervously

"Yes Momo?" Nana asked just as nervously.

"I really think we should get out of here."

"Agreed."

"Peke, do you think you could do something about this?" Asked Rito as he held Nana and Momo before Lala.

"Right away, Rito." Peke answered, setting to work at once.

* * *

**Ryouko's House**

"256... 257... 258..." Grunted Ryouko as she counted off her squats, a huge barbell slung over her broad shoulders, when suddenly a flash in the kitchen caught her attention. "I wonder who that could be?" She breathed heavily as she set her barbell down and went to investigate. The sight before her upon arrival was a strange one, but one she had somewhat expected upon the flash. Right before her eyes, were Rito, Lala, Yami, Nana, Momo, and their new friend Mea, all completely naked on the floor. While she was glad for any excuse to see Rito naked, and was fine with female nudity in general, the sight of Nana and Momo fused together told her why they'd come the way they did.

"So, am I going to get an invite to this orgy, or is it a free for all?" Ryouko joked, actually stripping her workout clothes off her highly sculpted body as she did so. Hey, just because she knew what was needed didn't mean she couldn't joke around.

"You can take off your clothes if you want to, Ryouko, but you know why we're really here." Rito told her as he stood up, not once minding the nudity of the group.

"Will you put some clothes on?" Demanded Nana as she and Momo both got red in the face, but for different reasons. "I can see everything for crying out loud."

"I'll say." Drooled Momo, unable to avert her gaze, despite the protests of her twin.

"Sorry," Apologized Lala as she helped her sisters up. "But Pyon-Pyon Warp-kun can't transport clothes. But don't worry, Peke will bring all our clothes to us in no time."

As Mea looked on at Rito explaining the situation to Ryouko, Lala helping her sisters adjust, and her own sister use her hair transformation to cover herself, she couldn't help but be intrigued by Rito. She'd never seen a naked man before, but she knew they were different than girls somehow, she just never imagined that the difference would be so... appealing to her. Almost immediately several vivid images of what she could do with Rito whirled through her head, and not one of them involved killing him this time.

_'I must study this in more detail later on.'_ Mea decided as she tried to stand up, but fell on her face when she tried to support herself on her peg leg, which hadn't made it through the transport. _'Why does this keep happening to me?'_

* * *

There you are people! It took me a while, but I'm finally done with this chapter! Granted, the ending may be a little risque, and things may be getting really wild now, but I really don't think that this would be a To Love-Ru story if it were any other way. So, you know the drill: Leave a review with your name on it about your thoughts on the chapter, and ideas on how you think I could improve these works in the future. Also, keep in mind that there are only two more chapters after this one in this volume, then it's on to the 6th and final volume, and afterwords towards the omakes and Epilogue!

Tonda Gossa!


	4. 1 plus 1 equals 1?

Hello again loyal fans! Before we begin here, I just have one thing I'd like to say. While I'm glad that so many people like reading my stories, I do have my own life outside of these things. I say this because I've been receiving some very rude reviews lately demanding that I update soon, and though I try my best to update at least once or twice a month, I sometimes fall victim to writer's block, same as anybody else. Do you have any idea just how many fics on this site are dead? You should all feel very lucky that I'm so dedicated to my work, because most people don't have this kind of loyalty to their works and their readers. I'll always come back to update eventually, but only at my own pace, whatever that may be at the time of writing. So without further ado, let's get the story underway!

* * *

**Ryouko's House - After Peke brings everyone their clothes.**

"It's about time everyone finally got covered up," Said a surly Nana as she adjusted her skirt. "Lala really needs to get all the bugs worked out on that thing."

"It's really a shame Peke had to get here so quickly," Momo sighed as she rested her head on her palm. "I would have liked to see Rito a bit more closely."

"Don't even think about it," Scowled Nana at her conjoined twin. "It was bad enough you had those urges when you had your own body, but now that we have to share a body I'm enacting a zero tolerance policy for your antics."

"Would it really be so bad losing our virginity to Rito?" Momo pouted, getting a firm glare in response. "Don't give me that look, your feelings for him are as strong as mine are."

"Like hell they are," Nana scoffed.

"You didn't deny you liked him though~" Momo said in a sing-song voice, further aggravating her sister. "Just imagine it for a second; us lying prone and naked in bed, Rito pouncing on us and doing this and that with our XXX and our OOO, his gentle caresses on our XOXO, our womb swelling up with his children."

"St-st-st-st-stop thinking like that-t-t-t-t." Stuttered Nana as she tried to straighten herself out and strangle Momo. "You m-m-may be used to getting this horny, b-b-but I'm not."

"Don't act so shy," Teased Momo. "After all, haven't you been climbing into Rito's bed from time to time?"

"H-How did you know that?!" Panicked Nana. "Who told you I did that?!"

"You did, just now." Giggled Momo, her sister fuming in rage. "W-W-Wait a second! Don't get so angry, you're making our entire body tense up. Everything's getting caught up in knots."

"Good!" Barked Nana. "Maybe that will teach you a lesson about treating my body right."

"Not that this isn't fun to watch, but if either of you can recall, I still have an examination to perform." Ryouko chuckled as she got out a rectangular device. "Now play nice, or I'll be forced to separate you two." Going into a second set of giggles at her joke as Nana and Momo fumed, she moved the device over their conjoined body.

"Wait a second, isn't that the Game Boy Horror thing Sallem left with you?" Noticed Nana curiously. "Why are you scanning us with that? We're not ghosts."

"Don't you know anything about the main appeal of the products Zero Industries makes?" Ryouko asked, genuinely curious as to why close personal friends of the company's founder wouldn't know about his products. "Almost everything they make comes equipped with multiple different functions depending on what attachments or programs you use. It's one of the main reasons so little is deducted from their gross income to fund their expenses. Making a multifunctional tool and selling it for an increased price based on convenience is a lot cheaper, easier, more profitable, honest, and environmentally friendly than wasting time and resources on mass producing junk, and then jumping through legal hoops to weasel your way out of paying full price for necessary expenses and labor. Why do you think he's put so many of his competitors out of business?"

"I'm not interested in Sallem's business strategies," Nana pouted. "I just want to know how I can get separated from this parasite."

"It's not really parasitism, so much as it is symbiosis." Ryouko explained as she looked at the readout on the Game Boy Horror. "Based on the data, several of your bodily systems have fused together to improve overall function. Your heart now has 6 chambers, in addition to having a three chambered secondary heart. You have three lungs, each capable of storing twice the air they normally could, and the cells of your liver are much more tightly interwoven. Other than that, several of your other organs and blood vessels now have increased circulation and redundant backups. Overall, aside from having to share a body, I can actually see several benefits to the formula that caused this."

"That's all well and good, but what about getting us separated?" Momo reiterated her sisters earlier question.

"Well, there's the problem," Ryouko began in a voice rehearsed several times in her career with unlucky patients. "The materials and equipment necessary to undo gene-splicing are very specialized, incredibly hard to come by, and just as expensive. Honestly, most planets are lucky to have even one facility equipped to handle such a procedure, and they charge through the nose and book reservations months in advance. With how primitive Earth is..." She trailed off, nothing more needing to be said.

"You mean... we're stuck like this?!" Panicked Nana, her sister Momo equally upset at this turn of events.

"I'm afraid so," Ryouko nodded as she relaxed in her chair. "Look at it this way, you'll be able to save a fortune on clothes now."

"This isn't funny, Ryouko." Pouted Momo. "How are we supposed to function like this? We had to be carried to your examination room because we couldn't coordinate our movements."

"Then you're going to have to learn, I'm afraid." Ryouko said casually as she helped Nana and Momo to their feet. "It's not the most fair of circumstances to be stuck in to be sure, but people get in accidents and have to go through rehabilitation all the time. If anything you two should have an easier time of it since you still have a whole body to work with."

"Yeah, with control over only half of it each," Pointed out Nana as she struggled to take a step forward, Momo trying to do the same, causing them to nearly fall over before Ryouko caught them. "See what I mean?"

"I never said it would be easy," Ryouko reminded them. "Just easier than what most people have to go through after a life changing accident." Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "You can come in, the examination is over." Ryouko invited them in as she helped Nana and Momo get steady.

"Sorry about the intrusion," Rito apologized as he, Lala, Yami, and Mea entered. "How are you two feeling?"

"Horrible," Scowled Nana at Rito. "I just know this is your fault somehow. It's always your fault."

"The sad thing is, I can't really come up with any way to deny that." Rito deadpanned, not sounding the least bit offended by the accusation.

"How long are they going to stay like this?" Yami asked curiously.

"Forever I'm afraid," Ryouko sighed, twirling a 20 pound dumbbell in her fingers like it were a pencil. "Unless one of you has access to the latest in gene-splicing technology, there's nothing any of us can do."

"Maybe I could make something to separate them?" Lala offered helpfully. "I'm sure I could have something worked up in a few days."

"There's no need to make it a rush job, Lala," Momo reassured her nervously, both her and Nana equally worried that it may backfire somehow as it always does. "We're perfectly willing to wait a few extra days, or maybe even weeks for you to get your invention just right." Nana, in spite of wanting to be split from her sister as soon as possible, nodded her head in agreement.

"Really?" Wondered Lala. "Well if you say so. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to work carefully this time, after all I don't want to mess things up even worse like I usually do." She said with her ever present smile as big as ever, not the least bit discouraged by admitting that her inventions have done more harms than goods.

"Are her inventions really so bad that she'd say so herself?" Mea asked.

"They've come in handy from time to time," Rito tried to sound reassuring. "But... their failures do tend to be pretty extraordinary."

"Oh my god!" Panicked Momo suddenly, as if having a terrible epiphany. "What are we going to do about school tomorrow? We can't exactly just waltz into the building like this, but if we suddenly call in absent for too long just a week after we enrolled it'll reflect poorly on our permanent record."

"...I guess you do have a point there," Nana admitted after ruminating on the idea for a bit. "If we don't show up tomorrow, then people might start spreading some weird rumors. Then again, if we show up like this there will be even weirder rumors floating around."

"What's worse, my fan-club might suspect Rito of trying something weird with me, and try to kill him," Momo pouted, (not so) secretly wanting Rito to actually do something weird with her.

"Why do I get the feeling you're more upset about Rito not trying anything weird with you yet than you are being fused with your sister?" Yami questioned bluntly, once again deliberately pushing Momo's buttons.

"Maaaybe we should focus more on the task at hand right now," Rito intervened. "Like figuring out how you two are going to function for the time being."

"Personally, if I could just get walking down by the end of the day, I'd be content for the moment." Nana answered as she ushered for Momo to get up with her. While it took them a minute to coordinate their movements enough just to stand up straight, they managed to make a passable attempt at standing.

"Well, you seem to have standing well underway at least," Noted Rito as he grabbed Nana's arm to steady her. "Now why don't we have one of you try putting their leg forward, and trying to get a rhythm going forward."

"Alright then," Momo agreed as she and Nana bent over, both of them apparently trying to take the first step. "What do you think you're doing?" She asked Nana.

"What does it look like?" Nana scoffed. "I'm trying to walk, but somebody's making a mess of it."

"Well it's my body," Momo pointed out. "It only makes sense that I should take the first step."

"I'm the older twin here," Nana reminded her as they straightened out their body. "And what makes you so certain this is your body, anyway?" When Momo immediately pointed at their noticeable breasts, Nana's expression turned into a deep scowl.

"Actually, if you two want to get technical," Ryouko intervened helpfully. "Your new body is really a perfect fusion of your old bodies. Neither one of you can really lay any more claim to it than the other can."

"Just flip a coin for now," Yami suggested as she pulled out a 100 Yen coin. "Who gets what?"

"Heads." Called Nana and Momo in unison, both grumbling in annoyance as they made a glancing glare at each other.

"Why don't I just decide this?" Rito offered hesitantly. "Nana gets heads, and Momo gets tails."

"Fine," The twins grumbled as they crossed their arms as turned away from each other as best they could.

Making a small smile and a quiet attempt at a laugh, Yami flipped the coin high in the air before catching it and slapping it to her wrist. "NaMo is really funny to watch."

"Did you seriously just combine our names?" Nana complained.

"This is gonna be a long day." Sighed Rito.

* * *

**Monday Morning - School Building**

"Thanks again for driving us to school, dad." Rito said gratefully as he got out of the shotgun seat. "Nana and Momo just started learning to walk in their new circumstances yesterday, and I was worried they'd have a hard time getting there."

"Not a problem," Reassured Saibai Yuuki as Lala got out of the back seat. "My work may eat up a lot of my time, but given the circumstances and how good Zastin and the other two have gotten as my assistants, I can afford to get too work a little later in the morning until NaMo adapts."

"Stop calling us that," Nana demanded as Rito helped the sisters out of their seat. She hated that Yami had mentioned that name in the first place. According to almost everyone who heard it, the fusion of their names was so much more convenient and funny that people just couldn't help themselves. "We're not the same person."

"Well, if you really want to get technical..." Momo began uncertainly, never wanting to pass up a chance at riling up her twin, but at the same time not wanting to make fun of her own plight.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence," Nana ordered her as Rito held their hands as they walked, helping them get a rhythm before letting them walk on their own. "It took us four hours yesterday just to learn how to walk like this, and we still have a hard time of it unless someone hold our hands the first few steps. The last thing we need right now is for us to be out of balance."

"I suppose you have a good point there," Momo conceded as she balanced her focus between walking in sync with Nana, and taking notice of all the strange looks they were getting as they walked up to school. Oddly enough, most people didn't seem to pay them much mind after the first long and awkward glance. "Hey, I know this is kind of off topic, but don't you think it's odd how nobody really seems to care that we've fused?"

"It's really not that unusual when you stop and think about it," Rito explained, keeping his pace restrained so as not to get ahead of NaMo. "Ryouko's more well built than an Amazon, Yami can shapeshift, Yui's a catgirl, Tearju's got a ridiculously huge hourglass figure, and the entire school is pretty much used to aliens by now. Trust me, very few people at this school are going to take too much notice of your condition."

"Rito really has a point there," Peke added. "People tend to become desensitized to strange occurrences as more of them happen. This will probably be just another day to everyone here."

"I guess you guys have a point there," Nana sighed in relief as they entered the building, glad that she and her sister wouldn't be drawing too many stares. "Well, I just hope that all that extra effort we put into walking up and down stairs yesterday will pay off. I really wouldn't want to fall down and have something weird happen." Casting a dirty glance at Rito as she said this, he understood her meaning well.

"Well, good luck to you both today," Rito said to them. "Do you need us to help you get to class?"

"No thanks," Nana denied immediately, wanting to retain her independence as much was possible while attached to another person. "We're not some helpless injured animal. We can get by just fine on our own."

"Alright, if you say so," Lala accepted as she grabbed Rito by the arm. "Come on, Rito! Let's get to class before the bell rings."

"Calm down, Lala. We have plenty of time." Rito chuckled in good spirits as he was pulled along, keeping up as best he could.

"You know it wouldn't have been any trouble for him to help us to class," Momo told Nana as they started up their walking rhythm again. "Rito is a gentleman by nature. He was just being nice."

"I don't need him to be nice to me," Nana insisted, their walking now at a comfortable pace, even if the stares they were getting weren't. "I just need him to be nice to Lala. Why he feels like he needs all those other girls is beyond me." She harrumphed as she said this, but her tone also carried a note of envy.

"You don't have to hide your feelings for him, you know." Momo told her older twin. She had noticed Nana's feelings long before she did, but only with their recent fusion did she learn how deep they were. While their minds were still independent, their shared body helped clue Momo in on all of Nana's physical reactions to Rito. Whereas Momo was happy enough just being around Rito, and hoping that she'd one day be part of his harem, Nana took emotions to a whole new high.

It was as if every little nice thing Rito did sent a jolt of electricity through their body. Momo had long thought that Nana's problem was that she wasn't enough in tune with her emotions, when it actually couldn't be further from the truth. If anything, Nana's emotions were too strong, and keeping her feelings for Rito hidden by a veil of feigned aggression and indifference was the only way she could cope.

"Says you," Scoffed Nana. "You share a body with me now. You know how worked up I get around him." Sharing a body with Momo definitely had more than its fair share of pros and cons, and it was hard to tell which was which or which was stronger at times. On the one hand, she hated that her only privacy these days was in her own mind, especially since the person now sharing all her secrets wasn't exactly known for being tight-lipped. However, a part of her was glad to have someone that she could finally unload all her emotional baggage on, even if the compliance of both parties in the matter was forced. It's hard to hide things from the person you're sharing a body with, even if you don't know them yourself.

"Yeah, I can tell," Momo consented as she pat her sister on the head reassuringly. "To be honest, with how wild your body gets around him, I'm surprised you haven't done something drastic yet."

"I have a little something called 'self-control' Momo." Nana scolded her as they entered their classroom, surprising all their classmates as they got one good look at them. "You might want to try it sometime. I hear it does wonders for your social position."

"Now you're just mocking me," Momo whispered bitterly as they took their seat -which was actually just Nana's, but in their condition they couldn't very well both go to their own seats- their class still looking on in shock. "Maybe you're the one who should try loosening up a bit. Really, what's the worst that could happen if you just let yourself be happy with Rito?"

"What's the worst that could happen?!" Hissed Nana bitterly as several images flickered through her mind. Herself and Momo at a cafe with Rito, at the ice rink, at the beach, eating ice cream together, curled up by the fireplace, hanging out with the rest of his harem, making out, cuddling in bed, doing XXX and OOO, rubbing her swollen belly, in the delivery room holding a two-headed baby. Suddenly, Nana's mind overheated and her crimson head started bursting out steam.

"What exactly are you thinking about?" Momo asked her sister worriedly, a bit too curious as to what images could overload her mind so much. _'I think her mind might secretly be even more dirty than mine.'_ She thought, amazed at the very idea.

"Uhh, Momo-sama?" A nervous looking member of her fan club cut off her train of thought. "Uhh, we, that is to say those of us in your fan club, we noticed that you and your sister were... Um, there's really no polite way to word this, I suppose..."

"What my nervous compatriot means is this, Momo-sama;" The leader of the club monkeys cut him off impatiently. "Your obviously alien affliction with you sister has all of us greatly worried! If there is anything we can do to help you get through whatever disease this is, then don't hesitate to let us, your loyal club members, take care of anything you may need!"

"What am I, chopped liver?" Nana asked scathingly, not missing that her sister's drooling slave monkeys only seemed concerned about her. "And anyway, this isn't because of some disease or anything. This is all because of that jerk-"

"Puberty!" Momo cut off her sister the moment she realized she was trying to blame this on Rito's bad luck curse. While they both knew his curse was indeed the reason behind their current situation, her fan club would majorly overreact if they knew. "Yeah, that's all it is. Devilukian Puberty."

"Puberty?" Repeated both Nana and several fan club monkeys in confusion. "You mean this is something normal for your species?"

"Absolutely!" Momo said quickly as she covered Nana's mouth to keep her from blabbing. "Fusing with your twin is a perfectly normal thing on our planet once you reach a certain age."

Instantly, the monkey club set about gossiping "Seriously?" "I guess we don't really know all that much about their species after all." "But what about their other sister, Lala?" "She said it only works on twins, remember?" "But what if the twins are different genders?" "I don't think I want to find out about that."

While the monkeys were distracted by the phoney alien biology lesson, Nana, failing to remove Momo's hand by force, resorted to licking her palm to make her let go. "What do you think you're doing?!" Hissed Nana as Momo wiped her hand off on their shirt. "Lying to these idiots is one thing, but don't just try to suffocate me all of a sudden."

"We have the same lungs, you wouldn't have run out of air even if your head stayed underwater for hours." Momo whispered bitterly. "Anyway, could you just do me a huge favor and play along with this? I promise I'll make it worth your while."

"What could you offer me to do this that I wouldn't already share with you?" Nana asked honestly, keeping her voice quiet just in case Momo actually did have something worthwhile to offer her.

"I'll let you do all the eating for both of us for the next week." Momo promised, already having thought of the idea during the weekend for just such an occasion as this.

Nana stopped to consider this as the monkeys began to wind down in their chatter. While their heads were independent, their bodies were not. Having to share a stomach was quite an ordeal, since neither could eat as much as they used to now. While part of Nana wanted to crack open whatever scheme her sister was cooking up out of spite, their petty sibling rivalry only went so far, whereas the promise of a bigger portion than their new norm was easily the better goal.

"Yeah, it's perfectly natural," Nana lied smoothly. "It's not exactly a happy part of our growth, but it's something that really can't be avoided."

"So be it!" Boomed the head degenerate all too boldly without a hint of hesitation. "If this is how evolution treats our goddess, then we shall rededicate ourselves the Momo & Nana Fan Club!" "YOOOOOSSSSHHHHH!" Shouted the din of idiots.

"How come my name comes second?" Pouted Nana irately. "And they're still using singular pronouns."

"Just ignore them," Momo whispered to her sister. "Trust me, you'll have far fewer headaches through the day if you do."

"This is going to be a long week." Deadpanned Nana, her irritation at the brainless followers already at a peek.

* * *

**Tuesday - Ryouko's Office - Lunch Break**

"I can't stand those idiots," Mumbled Nana as she shoveled her rice into her mouth. "How is it you're able to put up with them so easily?"

"I'm used to all the attention," Momo shrugged her shoulder. "It's a curse of being popular."

"More like you're just an attention whore," Nana corrected her bluntly. "Among other things."

"Can't you two at least try to get along?" Rito requested. "You're literally stuck with each other now, so a bit of civility couldn't hurt."

"It's no use, Rito." Sighed Momo as Nana kept eating so she wouldn't have to answer. "We're just complete polar opposites. Our powers, our personalities, our popularity, our chest sizes."

"We have the same body now," Nana reminded her bitterly. "So stop bringing up stuff that doesn't apply anymore!"

"Speaking of breasts," Ryouko cut in, Celine wiggling in her arms. "It seems that our little flower child is getting hungry."

"That's a very disturbing correlation," Nana remarked, her eyebrow twitching in irritation. "Just feed her the lunch Mikan packed for her. It's not like anyone here could give her that kind of food anyway."

"Well, you never know," Ryouko teased as she started feeding Celine some tacos. "With how wild Rito was during our first time together just a few weeks ago, I may start giving milk any day now." Her flirtatious jibe caused Nana and Rito to both nearly choke on their food.

"Was that remark really necessary, Ryouko?" Rito asked as soon as he stopped choking. He may be willing to have deeply physical relationships now, but that didn't mean he wanted to broadcast it to the world.

"Somewhat," Ryouko chuckled as she brushed her fingers through Rito's hair. "Keep in mind that I'm not growing any younger, and I'll want to start having your children at some point in the near future." Purposefully disregarding the uncomfortable look she was getting from Nana, she continued. "I know it might make me sound a bit dirty to say this, but I want you to have a huge harem, and for every one of your loyal mistresses to have a whole gaggle of kids."

By now, Nana's eyebrows were both twitching in furry, and Rito was sporting a faint blush as he pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. Noticing the smile Momo was trying to hide, Rito asked. "Nana, has Momo been talking with Ryouko at any length during the past few days?"

"Nothing that I'm aware of." Nana glared at Rito, likely blaming him for this mess, since she already knew better than anyone what Momo had been doing since their fusion.

"I wonder what our kids would look like." Momo hummed softly, drawing odd looks from her sister and Rito. "I wonder if they'd have two heads too."

* * *

**Wednesday - Gym Class - Girls Swimming**

"Ah! The water is always so refreshing!" Lala gasped enthusiastically as she surfaced from underwater with a large splash.

"It really is," Run hummed as she drifted along lazily. "I wish the time I get off from my idol work was always like this."

"I'd be satisfied right now if we could just get the hang of swimming like this." Nana grunted as she and Momo struggled to coordinate their movements in the water, fairing rather poorly as they couldn't get into a good rhythm.

"Our tempos just won't work in sync," Momo complained. "I guess it's true what they say. You really don't know how different two people are until they spend too much time together."

"And we already knew we were pretty different from the start." Nana added, letting out a sigh at the end of her sentence as she tried to drown herself for a moment, both her and Momo aware that their shared lungs meant she'd be fine.

"It's funny watching NaMo try to function." Yami smiled slightly. "It's like a slow moving train wreck."

"Yami, don't make fun of your friends!" Tearju called from the side of the pool. While supervising gym class periodically was a volunteer post for most staff members, Tearju enjoyed taking shifts when her daughter was in class. "Remember, treat others as you would treat yourself!"

"Yes mom," Pouted Yami as she continued swimming along. "There's nothing worse than having your mother supervise your classes." She muttered as she drifted by Run. "Have you been growing your hair out?" She asked the idol as she passed by, making an effort to take more notice of the people around her.

"Actually, I've just been so busy with work and school that I haven't really had time to do anything with it." Run admitted as she held up a few strands of hair, which had indeed gotten quite long. "I've been debating whether or not to cut it down to my normal length for a while now. Shorter hair is easier to manage, but Rito really seems to like longer hair."

"What makes you say something like that?" Peke asked curiously as Lala casually swam by.

"Just look at all the girls he's attracted to," Run said in exasperation as she flopped over into the water. "Lala, Yami, Yui, and Tearju all have long hair. I get that he's conflicted about his feelings, but how did it ever get to this crazy extent?!" Complaining as she stood bolt upright, she turned to Lala with a bitter look on her face. "This is all your fault!" She exclaimed as she splashed Lala in frustration.

Peke reviewed Run's words, and realized that she did indeed have a point. Making a mental note to give her human disguise longer hair, she began editing her mental image of herself. Her master Lala though, now thoroughly drenched, blinked in confusion at Run before a bright smile came to her face. "Splash fight!" She cried happily as she splattered Run with water.

"Hey! Watch it!" Run angrily retorted as she returned fire. "I'm not gonna go down easily, Princess!"

"That's kind of childish." Nana remarked before a torrent of water fell on her and Momo from above. "What the hell?" They remarked in unison as they looked around, quickly catching sight of Yami, who had turned her hair into a giant spoon. "What was that for?" Momo asked as she wound up her arm.

"I'm trying to be more outgoing," Yami replied as she turned her hair into a wall to block Momo's retaliation. "A water fight seemed like a good thing to try."

"Hey, does anybody else hear that?" Asked Mea, who was allowed to just tread water due to her disability.

"Yeah, I'm picking up something," Risa noted as she pulled herself up to the edge of the pool for a brief rest. "It sounds like somebody screaming."

"I'm getting out of the pool." Yami deadpanned as she dove down before somersaulting onto land.

"10 points for the landing!" Cheered Mio jokingly. "But why are you getting out?"

"I've seen this pattern before." Yami replied as she pointed at the horizon, causing many people to cease their splash fighting and turn to see what it was.

Suddenly, though not the least bit unexpectedly, Rito fell from the air, landing in the pool with a huge splash.

"Same routine as usual," Yami remarked as she got into a meditative pose and formed a cage of hair around her. "Now things are just going to go from bad to worse."

"What is she talking about?" Risa remarked curiously as Rito managed to find his footing in the pool.

"Obviously she knows this beast's true character as well as I do," Rin scowled as she reached for her wooden sword and got into a stance, Nana already trying to pound Rito for intruding, and surprisingly being the only one to do so. "Zastin Darling, I shall use the Deviluke swordsmanship you have taught me to smite this beast once and for all."

"Zastin Darling?" Chuckled Mio as she and Risa gave her mischievous knowing looks, and Tearju slipped trying to get Rito out of the pool, and instead falling on him boobs first. "Wow, I knew you were seeing Lala's bodyguard, but I had no idea it had gotten so intimate as to call him 'Darling' even when he's not around."

Her face turning bright red at the accusation, Rin began bickering with the mischievous duo.

"I can't help but feel as though the anger of the boys in this school, is inversely proportional to how little the girls care." Rito pondered as he managed to disentangle himself from Tearju's XXXXL sized swimsuit, taking notice of how Rin and Nana seemed to be the only girls in class upset by his intrusion on their swim class.

"So long as you keep your twisted luck restricted to your own girls, most of us don't really care anymore." A random girl said as she swam by.

"I still care," Huffed Nana irritably. While Rito took her words to mean that she still didn't like him, Momo knew her words really meant that she wanted something more from him.

* * *

**Thursday - On the way to School**

"...And that's how I ended up landing in the school pool yesterday." Rito finished up his tale.

"Damn that Lacospo," Huffed Lala. "I keep telling him he's a creep and to just leave me alone, but he just keeps coming back."

"You really blew up a building to get rid of the mercenary he hired this time?" Yami wondered in astonishment, surprised that Rito was capable of something so badass.

"Could you please not mention that part to the police if they ever come asking?" Rito pleaded with his hands in a praying position. "I was running away, and the gas station was just sort of there. I had no idea it would all wind up causing so much destruction."

"So, we're basically hiding evidence concerning several hundred thousand yen worth of damage from the police." Nana remarked casually. "I'm fine with that, I'm just checking."

"At least tell me that jackass got caught in the crossfire." Momo scowled.

"Last I saw he was being chased by tigers when I ran through the zoo." Rito answered in the affirmative.

"Please don't mention the zoo," Pouted Nana as she glanced at Momo. "Just thinking about it makes me angrier about my situation."

"I'm actually getting kind of used to things like this." Momo remarked as she leaned her head against Nana's. "Always sleeping next to someone can be really comforting." She teased as her tail danced around with Nana's.

"NaMo's just as funny as ever." Yami smirked slyly, sending Nana into another rage.

"Yami," Sighed Tearju as she ruffled her daughter's hair. "I'm glad that you're being more social, but you need to understand that the things you say might offend people."

"I'm pretty certain that she does understand what she's saying," Rito remarked as he held back Nana and Momo. "It's just that her long buried sense of humor seems to have a sadistic side to it."

"You took the words right out of my mouth," Nana scowled as Momo began humming in thought.

"Speaking of which," Momo smiled seductively as she pushed her head forward. "Would you care to take the words out of my mouth, Rito?"

"I thought we had moved beyond this?" Nana scolded as she facepalmed Momo.

"Maybe we should wait until you two are a bit more in agreement before we continue this conversation." Rito suggested innocently, wanting the conflict to end.

Nana and Momo however, took his words in a different way. While Rito was just saying that they all needed to cool their heels for a bit, the twins took it to mean that they both needed to be in consensus before pursuing a relationship with him. Because Rito already had an active harem, neither of them thought for a moment he had any other meaning than that. While some girls would be offended, the mere idea that Rito was willing to add them to his harem was enough to heat their faces, even more so since he wasn't going to make a move until all three of them were ready.

_'Why did my soulmate have to be such a womanizer?' _Thought a distraught Nana.

_'I can feel our body heating up. She's just as tempted as I am,'_ Momo thought happily. _'Now she just needs that one last big push, and both of us are in the Harem Plan.'_

* * *

Finally! Chapter 4 is done! I'm really sorry it took this long to get it out. I have no excuse for my tardiness, and I apologize profusely. I didn't plan out Volume 5 as well as I'd hoped, but I'm getting in a groove again, and during my stalling, I managed to plan out Volume 6 front to back, and have the Omakes all planned out as well. After I get the fifth and final chapter of this Volume out (which could take anywhere between a week to a few months) it should be smooth sailing all the way to the finale.

Tonda Gossa!


	5. Clipshow!

Here you go everyone. After waiting long and patiently, or in some cases impatiently, he's the final chapter in Rito's New Troubles Volume 5. Before we get started though, I'd just like to remind you all of something I think a few of you may have forgotten, or just never heard. I do not accept anonymous reviews, regardless of whether they're the nicest thing in the world, or complete crap, I will always delete them. You have been warned.

* * *

**Friday - Clubroom for Monkeys - AKA Momo and Nana Fanclub**

"Gentleman! We are at war!" Declared the club leader, not wasting any time beating around the bush. "Based on our scout reports, our worst fear is beginning to come to pass! Our idols, Momo Belia Deviluke and Nana Astar Deviluke, are beginning to fall into the vile clutches of the school's most infamous womanizer. Rito Yuuki!" His declaration was met with a chorus of cheers, none of them aware, or at least choosing to ignore the fact that Momo was one of the main instigating parties in the Harem Plan.

"You bozos are still at it?" Taunted Sallem humorously as he suddenly appeared from a ceiling panel. "I just came by to take notes on how things are going, and here I find that almost none of you have wised up to the fact that none of you are getting with Momo."

"This is none of your business, interloper!" The club leader shouted as he threw a chair at Sallem, which he casually cut in two with the blade in his left hand. "How we spend our lives in none of your business! Now remove yourself from our clubroom!"

"Aren't you the least bit worried about how you're gonna pay for that chair?" Sallem remarked as he looked at the split pieces, completely disregarding the club leader's words. "Granted, I could pay for it with way less than my lunch money, but I'm not gonna cover your ass on this one, dude."

**"Get out of here!"** The crazed club members shouted in unison as they began tossing everything they could get their hands on, each item only ending up as kindling on the floor for their efforts. The process repeated itself for about 40 minutes, with Sallem trolling them like a champ the whole time, and all the items ending up as little more than sawdust by the end of it.

* * *

**Saturday**

Nothing noteworthy happened on Saturday, so don't ask.

* * *

**Sunday - Yuuki Household - Pocket Dimension**

"There we go," Huffed Ryouko as she set down a very heavy box in a field of grass. "That should just about do it for all of my equipment. It's nice to be moving somewhere roomier."

"If by roomier, you mean an entire forest contained within a sub-space in my closet, then yes, it's roomier." Remarked Rito as he and Yami were carefully unpacking some of her non-medical supplies. "Why have you waited until just now to move in? I told you after our first time that you're all welcome here whenever."

"It's taken me a while to get everything all in order," Ryouko remarked as she helped Yui move in some of her stuff. "Besides, it's easier for everyone to all get settled in at once."

"Sorry it took so long for me to come to a decision." Yui said as she browsed through the available selection of buildings the pocket dimension's computer could manifest for her to dwell in. "But moving in with your boyfriend is something that takes a lot of consideration. Not to mention how much I had to do to convince my parents to let me move out."

"How did you talk them into it, anyway?" Rito asked as he unloaded a box labeled lingerie, making certain not to look into it as he did so.

"It was actually my brother who managed to convince them in the end." Yui explained as she selected a classic Japanese-style Palace, which materialized in a whir of lights instantly. "He said they needed to, unload me on whatever guy was taking a relationship with me seriously enough to do this before he changed him mind." She said irritably.

"That's fine," Rito said in awkward understanding. "But everything else aside, where did Sallem manage to find the time to make something like this in my closet? It took Lala months to build hers."

"This isn't a standard sub-space area," Yami explained. "The technology in here is all clearly Jurian based."

"I'm not sure I understand what that means exactly." Yui said curiously as she began sorting out the interior of the temple on her keyboard. "Are these Jurian people some kind of technology experts, or something?"

"Not hardly," Nana remarked, sounding offended at the very mention of the source of the technology they were in. "Anyone in the galaxy over 5 years old can tell you that they used to be one of the two biggest political and military powers in the galaxy until Daddy overthrew them both completely."

"Were they really all that great?" Rito turned to some of the others for confirmation.

"Of course they were," Momo nodded in agreement. "Because of their unique ships made from their special Royal Trees, their power was almost completely undisputed until Father's army destroyed nearly all of the trees in an aggressive strategic assault of their homeworld."

"Thank you for the reminder of just how scary your dad can be." Rito sweatdropped as Yui's finger slipped on the control panel in shock, accidentally adding a bondage room to the budding palace in the process.

"However, that power was a double-edged sword, if nothing else." Tearju explained as she pushed several of her personal items into the space on a cart. "The Jurains got too reliant on it, and the moment King Deviluke destroyed the last of their 1st generation Royal Trees, which were the most powerful, the rest of the galaxy was quick to encroach on their rapidly falling power base. In fact, immediately after the fall of Jurai, the organization I used to work for to grew substantially more powerful." Upon hearing this, Rito gained a new understanding for how complicated politics were, and just how easily things could shift in the universe.

"Hey Yui, what's this weird room you added to the building?" Lala asked as she pointed to the bondage room onscreen, already on to her own thing again.

"AHH! How did that get there?!" Panicked Yui as she frantically fiddled with the touchscreen. "Delete, delete, delete, delete!"

"So, are you saying that this is one of those, 'Royal Tree' things?" Rito asked Yami curiously.

"After the fall of Jurai, the Cortez siblings came into possession of a great number of the remaining Royal Trees due to a deal with King Deviluke." Yami explained. "That, and the archway above the gate out reads 'Jurain Royal Tree - Second Generation - Enslaved Model'."

"Something tells me I'd be better off not asking what all of that means for me," Rito sighed. "The term enslaved has me worried though. Hey Nana!" Rito called the older Deviluke twin.

"What is it Rito?" Nana replied as she and Momo came over.

"Do you know if Sallem has any bias against Jurai or their trees?" Rito questioned. "I'd ask Lala, but she's not really one to give unbiased answers."

"I'm not really sure," Nana began. "He's always hated how Jurai had just lucked their way into power due to their trees, but he's always been genuinely interested in the trees themselves."

"Is that so?" Rito hummed, nodding in understanding.

"Those trees are even one of the two main reasons he provided father with so many weapons for the war." Momo continued on explaining. "Sallem made a deal with father; he provides weapons for the war at highly marked down prices, and if and when father wins, Sallem and his brothers get a large portion of the remaining Royal Trees for their personal usage, as well as complete tax immunity."

"So, he got involved in a galactic-scale war to plant trees and get out of paying his taxes?" Rito repeated in astonishment, receiving dual nods of confirmation from NaMo.

"It's not as superficial as you'd think at a glance," Yami remarked as she finished moving in the few possessions she and her mother owned. "Just the taxes Sallem would have to pay on his company could buy an average planet three times per standard galactic year, and Royal Trees have a value that can't be measured in any form currency."

"It doesn't make me feel any better about having one of the most powerful warships in the Galaxy converted into my new closet." Rito quipped, taking a respectful pause for the once great ship before getting back to work.

* * *

**Monday - School - Between Periods**

"This is becoming surprisingly routine for me." Rito remarked casually as he kept up a brisk pace ahead of the angry mob that was once again chasing him. "If nothing else, this is all very good cardio."

By this point however, many of the mindless, faceless males in the school had become complete victims of the condition writers like to call 'Flanderization' and had become little more than raving animals at this point. All was not lost however, as just as many of the formerly mindless idiots had wised up since their first days of drooling, and were actually productive members of the school.

"Hey Ryuzaki. Hey Tanaka. Good luck with the football team!" Rito greeted as he passed by two of his former pursuers in the hallway.

"Thanks, Rito!" Ryuzaki called out to his fleeing friend. "Keep it up! You'll lose them eventually!"

"Can you believe that used to be us chasing him?" Tanaka asked his friend in astonishment as he shook his head at the mob, which had long since decreased in number from what it once was.

"Unfortunately, I can," Ryuzaki sighed. "And even more unfortunately, so can my girlfriend. When I think of all the time I wasted chasing that guy around..."

"It was good cardio, though." Tanaka pointed out. "And part of the reason the football team scouted us."

"Yeah, the football team." Ryuzaki smiled contentedly, reminiscing of how he met his girlfriend through the sport after a game. She was a huge fan, he took a shot, and the rest was history. "Seriously though, looking at my Helena, I don't even remember what I saw in whatever girls I was chasing Rito over at the time."

"Well, she is an African, and an amateur model." Tanaka pointed out. "Do you think playing football will help me meet the ladies like it did you?"

"No doubt, it's a very social sport, after all." Ryuzaki reassured his buddy. "Now come on, we need to get ready for class."

* * *

**Tuesday - School - Between Periods (Again)  
**

"Remind me again why you do this everyday?" Lala asked Rito as they sprinted through the halls, the pitter-patter of their footfalls matching those of the rain outside.

"They don't give me much option," Rito explained. "Besides, it doesn't really bother me anymore."

"They are lagging pretty far behind," Peke noticed. "And they really do this every time you leave the room?"

"Every. Single. Time." Rito emphasized every word to get his point across. "Honestly, I'm pretty sure at least some of them are doing it out of habit now more than anything else."

"So you really don't mind doing this everyday?" Lala repeated. "You seemed pretty upset about this happening when I first came here."

"Don't get me wrong, I really do wish they'd just leave me alone already." Rito corrected her. "I'm just saying that it doesn't impact me anymore."

"Hey look! There's my sisters!" Lala noticed. "Hi Nana! Hi Momo!"

"Onee-san, Rito," Nana and Momo returned the greeting in unison with a passing wave as they ran by, the mob following shortly after them.

"So the Royal Tree creating the space in Rito's closet is really the former ship of Seto Kamiki Jurai?" Nana asked Momo in astonishment once the mob had passed, obviously returning to an earlier conversation.

"Believe me, I'm as surprised as you are," Momo confirmed, sounding more than a little offended. "I always thought that Royal Trees up to the Third Generation wouldn't work for anyone but their chosen partner, but apparently Sallem figured out a way to force their cooperation."

"You seem pretty upset about this." Nana noticed. "Is there anything I can do to help?" Surprisingly, since their fusion, Nana and Momo have begun developing a surprising amount of cooperation. They still clashed on occasion, and kept their own unique personalities, but they've learned how to cohabit their new body.

"Well, it's just that..." Momo hesitated, not sure how to put her thoughts into words. "For as far back as I can remember, I've always wanted the chance to talk to one of the famous Royal Trees. Then, when I finally get the opportunity to do it, the circumstances are just plain horrible."

"I thought we'd moved past this issue," Nana protested as she gestured from one head to the other.

"Our situation has nothing to do with it," Momo shook her head. "I'm talking about how the Mikagami was stolen from its true partner, forced into slavery, and I can't even do anything to help it without setting off at least 100 fail safes."

"Is it really all that bad?" Nana asked in concern.

"Worse," Momo sighed. "Being torn from its partner, and shackled from ever finding them again, or even getting a new one. Imagine how you'd feel if Rito was gone."

"That's bad," Nana said in monotone. "Why would Sallem do something like that? I know he's not the nicest guy around, but that's downright psychotic."

"Apparently he has some sort of huge grudge against Jurai, especially their Royal Trees." Momo answered sadly. "Or at least, that's what Mikagami-chan managed to figure out about him from his evil gloating."

"Sallem does evil gloating?" Rito asked curiously, startling Nana and Momo with his presence. "That's not too surprising, but part of me thought he was above that."

"When did you get here?" Nana asked in astonishment, a blush coming to her face as she realized she'd said some incriminating things he might have heard.

"We've actually been here for a while," Rito answered as he pointed his thumb at Lala, causing Nana's face to heat up more. "We managed to lose the mob and work our way back here to see where you wanna eat lunch today, seeing as the roof is clearly not an option." He said as he pointed out the window, rain drizzling to the ground.

"How about we go to Ryouko's office?" Recommended Momo, fanning Nana in an effort to cool their body down. "She doesn't get too much in the way of company just working in that office all day."

"That sounds like a good idea," Nodded Rito. "And Nana?"

"What?" Nana said nervously.

"My hearing hasn't been so great lately," Rito explained offhandedly. "I keep hearing this weird ringing blocking things out sometimes. You're good with animals, what do you do when one of them says they hear ringing?"

"Um..." Nana hesitated, not sure why he would bring up something like that all of a sudden. "Well, you could try submerging both your ears in water for a minute or so. That usually clears them up just fine."

"Thanks," Rito said gratefully as he pat Nana and Momo between their heads. "Truth be told, it's been bugging me a lot more today than it used to. That's why I only brought it up just now. See ya." He waved as he and Lala went off to class.

"...What happened just now?" Nana asked her twin curiously once they were out of earshot.

"What happened, was Rito giving you a free pass." Momo smirked devilishly as they set out for class. "He heard what you said about how much you'd miss him if he were gone, but he's pretending that he didn't to let you save face."

"Why would he do something like that?" Nana asked as she rubbed her chin in confusion and frustration.

"Because he's being nice," Momo answered bluntly. "He's just nice like that, plus, it means that he wants us to make the first move."

"You've already made more than enough moves for the both of us." Nana muttered snidely.

"But you haven't made even one," Momo pointed out. "Just stop and think for a moment. He won't make a move on us until you make one on him. He's not the pervert you think he is. He's a chivalrous gentleman."

"I know that," Grumbled Nana as she turned her head away. "I'm just worried about how it'll work. We share a body, so things will get a little... weird. You'll want something, I won't be ready for it, and a fight will break out. What kind of relationship would that make for the three of us?"

"Do you seriously think that's how it'll go?" Momo asked, obviously taking offense. However, one glimpse at the deadpan look on Nana's face said it all. "...Okay, I see how you could come to that conclusion. How about this; you imagine how far you'd be willing to go, and we'll work our way from there."

Nana hummed thoughtfully as she took the idea into consideration, her thoughts trailing from one thing to another, the romantic staples getting progressively more intense as things went on: The three of them eating lunch together. The three of them at the movies. The three of them eating a romantic dinner together. The three of them at the beach. Replaying the previous answers with progressively more members of the harem. None of it was really phasing her, which worried her a little. Ultimately, it wasn't until she reached the image of the three of them having sex did she finally reach her breaking point.

"I think we have a winner!" Momo smiled as she noticed their body temperature rise slightly. "So? What was it that finally set you off?"

"Sh-shut-up!" Nana demanded nervously, giving Momo a knowing ear-to-ear grin.

* * *

**Wednesday - Yuuki Household - Subspace  
**

"Ahh, drifting along in the water on a day like today is just what I ordered." Ryouko sighed pleasantly as she floated happily in the lake. "Royal Trees really are a wonder, aren't they? An entire private beach in your closet, and this is only a small portion of it."

"And to think that there's nothing but cloud cover outside today." Tearju added as she bobbed beside Ryouko, her giant bosom acting as a flotation device. "How are you two managing in the water?" She called over to NaMo.

"We've finally got the hang of it," Nana called as she and Momo performed a flawless backstroke. "Now we just need to work out a system for deciding which of us comes up for air when."

"Until then, we're just enjoying the sun, the sand, and the view." Momo smiled as she glanced at Rito, who was currently resting on a beach towel with Yui.

"You're sure that you're fine with just resting on the sand?" Rito asked Yui, who had her head nuzzled on his lap as he brushed her from head to tail. "The water's perfectly clean."

"I know it is," Yui purred contentedly as her ears twitched. "But you know how it is with cats and water. We just don't mix right. Besides, I'm comfortable right where I am... Just don't get any bright ideas, okay?" She said sternly. "Today is all about relaxing. We're still getting settled in to our new home, and I don't want you getting too touchy-feelly right now."

"Some species of big cats prefer being in the water," Yami paraphrased from one of her zoology books. "It keeps them clean, cool, and is the only place they can hunt for fish. Oddly enough, feline evolution has had them retain their love for fish, but lose their preference for water, causing quite a paradox of biology."

Noticing Yui's disgruntled expression at Yami's remark, Rito scratched her behind the ears, eliciting a contented purr from her instead. "There, there, Yui. There's no need to get so excited. Remember, we're here today to have fun and get away from all the problems our lives bring us on a regular basis, not incite them."

"Ohh, you're so lucky you know that sweet spot, Rito." Yui grinned as she arched her back in a stretch. "Maintaining order in school can be so tough sometimes. Some kids bring in magazines or games, the Principal is always causing some kind of trouble for the girls, unauthorized clubs form and cause trouble for the rest of the school..."

"Thank you for dealing with my angry mob on a daily basis by the way." Rito said appreciatively as she rolled over on her back.

"Thank you for attracting one in the first place." She said as Rito scratched her belly. "Scratching those people senseless is great for dealing with stress."

"I'm glad that my misfortune is bringing you so much joy," Rito smiled sarcastically. "You are really getting furry by the way. Have you given any thought to shaving it?"

"Only if it starts growing in places where it'll draw attention." Yui lulled her head as she curled around Rito. "I have a reputation as a serious enforcer to maintain. For right now though, I kinda like being fuzzy."

"Yui," Interrupted Nana as she and Momo walked onto the sand. "I think you might be shedding on Rito." She pointed at the loose bits of fur clinging to his body.

"What?" Yui startled abruptly as she backed away from Rito in embarrassment. "Oh, so I was... Sorry." She turned away nervously, her face turning slightly red.

"It's okay, Yui." Rito reassured her as he brushed her hair, causing her to purr in contentment. "These things happen, and it's nobody's fault. I'm just glad everyone's enjoying themselves." He remarked as he looked out over the beach.

Following the path of his gaze, Nana's brow furrowed as she looked at all the beach-goers. Ryouko was wearing a skimpy crimson sling, and her super amazonian build was both intimidating, and arousing. Tearju, while having settled on a more conservative navy-blue one-piece, still had an impossible figure with monster boobs and hips, all supported by a waist of perfectly normal size. Yui, one of the most conservative people she knew, was actually completely nude! The only reason she wasn't indecent was because her black fur covered everything worth seeing, though she did look like she was wearing a furry bra and panties.

Comparatively speaking, Lala and Yami were the only normal women left on the beach. Her older sister was wearing a white bikini made by Peke, while Yami had transformed her usual clothes into a black bikini. And herself and Momo? The two headed freak of nature? They had squabbled over what to wear for half an hour before they decided on a green two-piece. While Nana had some confidence in her new figure, part of her was still worried that Rito wouldn't be interested in the freaky two-headed girl.

Why would he be? Some of the other girls in his harem may be freaks now, but at least their altercations could be seen as attractive in some light. But conjoinment? Nana knew the idea was unattractive, and that the only reasons Momo's fanclub still followed them was because they were desperate, and they could just ignore the growth sprouting from their idol with enough effort. That wasn't just her self-consciousness speaking, she's had some of her animals spy on them when they thought they were alone, so she knew what they really thought of her. Even when she was literally attached to her more popular sister, she was still just an afterthought.

"Nana, are you alright?" Rito suddenly asked her, snapping her out of her trance.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" Nana answered in a panic, still a little jumpy from the sudden intrusion on her deep thinking.

"Well, you were just staring out into space for a while, so I just thought I'd ask." He shrugged as he pet Yui, who was currently snuggling his leg.

"What's up with Yui?" Momo asked as she took note of the normally high-strung girl's sudden playful and animal-like affections.

"I'm not really sure," Rito answered as Yui stretched out with cat-like grace before curling up for a sudden nap. "I'm worried that she may be getting more and more like a cat as time goes on. I think I'd better have Ryouko check and see if something's up with her."

"I can take her to my lab, Rito!" Ryouko called from the lake before she began to swim over, her elven ears having picked up the casual conversation. "I've been meaning to give her another check-up anyway. With all these weird transformations those of us in your harem have been having, one can only imagine how much our bodies have changed."

"I do seem to be a magnet for the bizarre." Rito agreed as he picked up the slumbering Yui and handed her off to Ryouko. "Let me know if there's anything we should worry about."

"I'll keep you posted." Ryouko nodded as she strolled off to their house within subspace.

While Rito had been talking with her sister and Ryouko, Nana faded off into a trance again. _'Why did it have to be him?'_ She wondered as she stared at Rito in veiled longing. _'Why is it, that out of all the guys in the universe, I had to fall for the same guy as both my sisters, and several other girls.'_ Even as she asked herself this, she already knew the answer. _'Because he's gentle, caring, loving, protective, and just plain fun to be around. I know that I SHOULD just let go and move on, but my heart just won't let me.'_ Granted, she did share physical her heart with someone who was smitten enough with Rito for the both of them, but her metaphorical heart was just as lovestruck and that of her other half.

_'That's it,'_ Nana decided resolutely. _'I'm going to do it. I'm going to tell him how I feel, and competition be damned, I'll get him to reciprocate.'_

"Well there's a fire in your eyes I've never seen before," Momo quietly goaded her other half. "Anything I should know about?"

"Just follow my lead and don't ask questions." Nana scolded her.

Momo just shrugged her shoulder playfully, fully intent to go along with it. After all, she knew from the get go that Nana was the kind of girl to confess on her own terms, and her terms alone. If letting Nana take charge for a bit was what it took to get them both in Rito's harem, Momo had no complaints with that.

"Rito!" She began fiercely, causing Rito to startle. "We need to talk for a minute. Alone." She highlighted as she grabbed his arm and began to pull him with her into the forest. "Well, partially alone." She corrected herself as she reminded herself to take Momo into account.

"Okay, okay, just don't squeeze my arm so tightly." Rito relented as he hurried along beside the twins, silently amazed that their movements had coordinated to the point where he had a hard time keeping pace. "Lala, Yami, Tearju, Peke, it looks like I'll be stepping out for a bit!" He called out to those remaining at the lake.

"And then there was 7." Yami remarked as she drifted lazily by her mother.

"What do you mean by that, Yami?" Tearju asked curiously.

"Wait three minutes, then let's follow them." Yami told her as she got out of the water and began to towel off. "You'll see then."

* * *

**Subspace Forest - With Rito, Nana, and Momo  
**

"How far are we gonna go before you tell me what this is all about?" Rito asked, not complaining, but not enjoying the silence Nana was casting for so long. While he already knew what this all was about, he continued to play dumb to let Nana save face. Making accommodations to keep each other happy was important.

Growling under her breath, Nana came to a sudden halt, catching both Rito and her sister off guard, resulting in all three of them stumbling slightly before Rito caught them. "...Thanks for the help." She said with surprised gratitude. "You're a lot more coordinated than you used to be."

"Anytime, Nana." Rito smiled, inwardly ecstatic at the offhand comment. "I guess I've just fallen over so many times since meeting everyone that I'm used to it."

Nana pouted at the reminder of the source of many of his perverted run-ins. Clearly, she was no more fond of his continually bad luck than he was.

"Ahem," Momo coughed into her hand to remind Nana of her bearings. "Didn't you have something you wanted to say to Rito?"

"Right," Mumbled Nana as she shuffled her foot nervously. "Well... Rito, you know how I've never really approved of you marrying my sister, right?"

"I thought you were insistent that I marry only her?" Rito tilted his head in confusion.

"Well, my mind changes about that a lot." Nana admitted sheepishly. "But now I've made up my mind for good! So you'd better do exactly what I say this time!"

"I can't exactly promise that if I don't know what you want." Rito said awkwardly as he scratched the back of his head. "For all I know it could be something really unreasonable or impossible."

"It's neither of those things!" Nana huffed as she pulled his shirt harshly. "Now do you promise or don't you!?"

"Nana," Momo intervened by prying her hand off Rito. "Maybe you really should say you bit first. Make sure he knows what he's getting into."

"He already knows what he's getting into!" Nana snapped. "And that's the problem! I wanted this to be special. I've always hoped that when the right time came, it would be the most beautiful thing in the galaxy for me! But this is all going in the wrong order, and it's all wrong! I had it all planned out, and it was supposed to be perfect." She sniffled as her tirade wound down. "Is it too much to ask that my first and only love starts out someway special?"

Rito's confusion and awkwardness melted away as he took in how troubled Nana was about this. Angry girls were hard to calm down, but to him at least, sad girls were easy to cheer up. Slowly, so as not to startle her, he ran his fingers through her hair and raised her chin with his other hand. Seeing tears forming at the edges of her eyes, he cleared them gently. "Look Nana, just because I already know these things doesn't make the fact that you worked up the courage to say it yourself any less special. So things didn't go perfectly according to your plan, so what? I can't tell you how many times I've screwed up in the past. Somehow though, if you stay on task and always mean well, things will usually work out."

"Do you really think so?" Nana asked curiously.

"I know so." Rito said with strong certainty. "Now if you don't mind, I think there's something left to do here."

"There is?" Nana asked in confusion. "But I thought you'd-" She was cut off in shock, as Rito captured her lips with his own. In an instant, Nana was feeling a torrent of emotions all at once. Anger, embarrassment, elation, lust, and even a slight desire to procreate, if such a feeling could be put into words. About a year ago, back when she and Momo first came to this planet, she would have never thought she's find such passion with a man spoken for by many women already. But as she and Rito explored each others mouths, she knew she wouldn't have it any other way.

"There, I think that wraps things up quite nicely, now doesn't it?" Rito asked with a smile.

"B-Baka," Mumbled Nana as she looked away shyly, a blush and a smile on her face.

"Hold on now Rito," Smirked Momo as she grabbed him. "We're not done here yet." The moment she said this, she pounce on him. Her mouth instantly began exploring his with a lustful rage. Her hand roaming his body and keeping them together without relent. Her shared body grinding up against his sensually.

"Momo! What do you think you're doing!?" Demanded Nana hotly. "You said we wouldn't do anything I wasn't ready forooorroohh~" She trailed off as Momo's built up lust flooded their body with sexual hormones, drowning out her common-sense and self-control.

"Now do you see what I was talking about, mom?" Yami asked ask she, Lala, and Tearju emerged from the bushes.

"I think I do." Tearju remarked as she gazed at Momo devouring Rito, and Nana in the process of helping. While Tearju had agreed with everyone that she was fine with, and in fact supported Rito's growing harem, seeing her love making out with two new women spike a bit of jealousy in her.

"Congratulation you three!" Cheered Lala excitedly. "Now we can all be in Rito's harem together!"

"Lala-sama, I think that this is a bit too stimulating for me." Peke said nervously as she passed out, falling off Lala's head and leaving her nude.

"Kitties!" Yelled Yui like a war cry as she pounced on Rito, Nana, and Momo from some bushes. "Kitties, kitties, kitties! Let's make kitties together, Rito!"

"Yui, what's gotten into you?!" Panicked Rito as Yui's attack granted him a brief reprieve from being molested by the twins.

"The Full Moon is what's gotten into her," Ryouko smirked as she stepped out from the same bushes as Yui. "I'd almost forgotten what it does to her. Seems like she locked herself up last month to avoid this, but forgot to this time around."

"And you didn't think to stop her from getting out?" Yami asked judgmentally, remembering what she was like in the sushi restaurant.

"I did actually," Ryouko shrugged. "But then I thought, if Yui gets out and jumps Rito, I might be able to have a little fun myself" She remarked as she pulled off her sling swimsuit and followed the example of the catgirl and the conjoined twins.

"This is very ecchi," Yami said coldly. "But if it's Rito, then I'll make an exception." She smiled as she took of her clothes and joined in as well.

"C'mon Tearju," Lala said excitedly as she pulled the doctor along. "Let's all celebrate Nana and Momo joining us!"

"Lala, I'm not so certain that's what this..." Tearju trailed off as she got a good look at how entangled everyone was. While some might be disgusted at the sight, Tearju was oddly aroused. Looking at them also reminded her of the pang of jealousy that went through her when she saw Rito kissing the twins. "Why not? It looks like fun." She smiled as she pulled off her swimsuit, revealing huge heaving masses of flesh in her chest and rear.

And so, everyone joined in one of the strangest orgies ever seen. Amazon, Loli, Catgirl, Super Hourglass, Conjoined, and a normal babe. All of them having the time of their lives. The fun would go on for several hours, until everyone passed out from exhaustion.

* * *

**Thursday Morning - Real World - City Limits  
**

"Finally, my training is complete!" Beamed a woman in a miko outfit as she walked into the residential area, oblivious to the glances she was getting. "Finally, I know the secrets to all the trouble plaguing my friends." A determined look in her eye, the woman doubled her pace. "Finally, I can do something to help everyone, to destroy the pentagram of sin, and exorcize the trinity!" Looking up with a face full of hope, she clasped her hands together. "I thank none but myself, my teachers, and my friends for this chance. For it is in our own actions, and not by those of a higher power, that we find our true worth. For my friends. With a strong will and powerful magic, I will save them from their tormentors!" Her anti-religious prayer finished, she turned her steely gaze forward.

Oshizu Murasame was back in town.

* * *

Cliffhanger! How much of a jerk am I? Anyway, as you can see, this is the last chapter of volume 5, but just so you all know, I will not be working on volume 6 right away. I have a few other things I want to do before that. First of which is completing my Legend of Zelda fanfic. Those of you who've seen it, thank you for doing so. Those of you who haven't, please read it, favorite it, and review to it, so as to motivate me to get my work done faster.

Also, I have another project I'm working on called Famous Families. Basically, it features some of my favorite character in a 'Where Are They Now' Epilogue of their respective series. You know, show who's married to who, what the kids are like, how the events of the story and actions of their parents affect their kids down the road, that kind of stuff. Keep in mind, the pairings I choose are completely up to me, and the events of the stories might clash with canon anywhere between only slightly to completely AU. These stories will all be one-shots, and each will be based on a different series. If you have some suggestions of stuff you'd like to see in these one-shots, either PM me, or make a review of it. I don't guarantee anyone will get their idea chosen, but if I like it enough, I may just do it somewhere down the road.

Tonda Gossa!


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